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Old 19th May 2011, 09:12 AM   #6
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: my feelings and thougths are all over the place and I need a place to let it out

I agree 100% with Raymond . Now that you have said more about how serious this is,the online sex etc, and what he said about what he wants to do with her, I believe that you do need to stand VERY firm and if necessary ask him to leave until he ends this relationship.If you dont do this he will never end it. If we allow or enable anything like this in our marriages, then we are partly to blame if it never stops. Its like porn use, if the wife turns a blind eye, it will never stop.
Really, you will survive if he does leave. I had to suddenly end my 25 year marriage after finding out something really serious about my ex husband, and I had 3 kids and was earning practically nothing.. You will manage.
Hopefully he will see sense if he knows that you wont put up with it.

Of course he isnt in love, they have never met, and you cant get to know anyone properly online, he is infatuated with who he thinks she is, he is lusting after her, and she may not be quite so keen when she finds out that he is a 'kept man'.
You said yourself that you earn good money and could easlily supprt yourself, and it may just do him good to have to work for once!

You do need to let him go as Raymond said, and then it wil be up to you if you have him back if he stops the other wrong relationship, but if he does stop then you will need strict boundaries so that it doesnt happen again.
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