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Old 5th January 2005, 11:17 PM   #62
Unhappy girl
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Re: masturbation, porn and marriage

Hi. I haven't replied to a forum before so I'm sorry if this jumps in at the wrong place.

I'm looking for answers / an explanation for what's going on with my husband. I doscovered that he was masturbating with (quite mild) porn about a year and a half ago and confronted him about it. In fact at first I just found the pictures and was so naive I didn't realise they were for masturbation - he kind of let that slip out while trying to explain himself. Anyway it turned out there were loads of pictures and he'd been doing it for years but he agreed to destroy them. I destrpyed some when he failed to do so.

I then discovered more pictures, after he'd promised not to do it anymore and I went mad and hit him. He absolutely promised never to do it again. But he does and I know it but I daren't say anything to him. I found a load of stuff on his computer last night (I went looking - can't trust him any more).

I just feel sick all the time when I think about it. We hardly have sex any more - I don't fancy him because of this although he did say that he looked at porn partly because I didn't wear sexy stuff. I tried that and really have made an effort but he doesn't feel like it or just seems to be somewhere else when we do have sex.

There is also some really weird / sick stuff going on that seems to involve a stopwatch, cling film and s**t (his - in the cling film) and recording numbers next to letters/initials - it's obviously something to do with sex - anyone got any idea what that's all about?

I just don't think I can cope any more but I am terrified at the prospect of separating.

Any thoughts? Please help.
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