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Old 5th December 2004, 07:46 PM   #45
Lovey
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Re: masturbation, porn and marriage

Some of you have asked how a woman (wife) has dealt with their hubby masturbating to porn.

Install a tracker on the computer, to ensure he's not watching ANY porn. I realised that I'm too jealous- even though I work in porn- something that I'm quitting.
He has told me he is jealous if I watched porn without him, as he doesn't want me looking at other men.
We have sex once a day now, cut back from twice, until I feel more comfortable with my trust of him. If I feel upset and mistrustful, we talk, hold eachother and it helps.
Going to therapy for some may help. Since I have training in therapy, we're doing it ourselves.
We did the test to see if he was addicted. He was just fine with doing it, and he answered yes to only a few questions. Three - which was not much, and was all about how the porn affected his marriage. This helped us to realise just how much of an issue it was aside from my not liking it!
He lets me talk about it whenever I like, and is open to questions.
That's all we're doing to make things better. I think that since he isn't watching it anymore, I now can learn to trust that there will be no more hiding, no more lies and no more other women to look at. Frankly, I don't think he needs it. He can look at me, look at my nude pictures and whack off to them.
Men and women do not need porn to get off. We have loads of sex toys, lingerie, our sexy naked bodies and that's all I want.
I am glad that he is unselfish enough to get rid of the porn, and take me instead.
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