Good advice from Raymond Broton,
Staying with a very rigid routine would be difficult for anyone. Would it be possible that you could have one day a fortnight (or whatever you can work with) where you take the time out for yourself, without any routine.
You get up spend the day doing whatever you feel like, visiting friends, wandering around the shops etc. Make sure for that day you have a routine set in place for your husband. Explain that you need this time to recharge.
It must be difficult for you Broton, and you need to be comended for trying to make things work, but you still need to take time to look after yourself, doing things that make you happy.
Have a look at some of the threads here, you will find some good advice. The gratitude thread I started has given me so much joy as I read what others have written and shared. Try and listen to more uplifting songs, one of my favourites is Helen Reddy's "I am woman" old I know, but oh so empowering.
