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Old 15th April 2014, 04:29 AM   #16
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Question for men - I would apreciate your candid opinion

Quote:
Originally Posted by edgya1234 View Post
Well the image was for a certain reason: to show that all of this thing of me being ugly, feeling sick of myself, feeling ashamed was just imaginary and that I had no reason not to feel attracted to my husband. In reality I was ashamed for being an unfit wife to the man I love and loves me back and as I said did not understand for the life of me what is going on. The only thing I knew was I could not do anything in bed. A woman can't have an affair while in love Or I can't.
My husband suffered in silence. I just wished he would have done something I don't know, pushed me more.
He let me discover by myself trying to be the sensible and loving guy. I took me two years Because in the beginning he jokingly told me NO to few things I wanted to try in our intimate life, I never asked again. My subconscious stored the NO's and shut my body down. I just realize today of all days that I wanted some different things from him and because of those NO's I was afraid and ashamed to ask.
Today I am hurt, he is really hurt and we both care for each other and we have no clue how to do anything. Of course I still have to know how to tell him what the reason was. I have no idea how he will react or what he will say
Therefore my question: what will a guy who loves his wife do to please her?
I am sure he will do what he can to please her as long as its not what makes him feel really uncomfortable. You said you had a very good sex life so him refusing one or two things didnt seem to affect that. Maybe they made him feel very uncomfortable. Maybe they were things that you had done with other men that you expected him to do as well. As you said men had always done what you wanted before, so it was a shock for you to have a man say no. However I think it was good for you to know that you cant always have things you own way. Marriage isn't like that, its give and take and compromise.

Women can feel bad about themselves and have a poor self image, no matter how pretty they are, and others can feel very sexy and attractive and desirable even if they are not thought to be physically 'attractive' by the worlds standards. Who really cares that much about what the worlds standards are anyway, they are so shallow and focused on one thing. What is inside can make all of us more, or less, attractive and beautiful, and its what lasts when looks fade.
Its all relative, and men are very different in the type of women they find attractive of course, just as women find very different types of men attractive. As long as we each find our own spouses attractive that all that matters. My husband is the only man whose opinion matters to me:-)

Last edited by chosen; 15th April 2014 at 04:35 AM.
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