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Old 16th April 2012, 06:54 PM   #43
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: brink of seperation

Hi Jan. He seems to be taken up with his plans and what he is doing instead of spreading a bit of love your way. He must be told somehow that you are not able to keep up with his extrovert social life and that you must be allowed to be who you are. It is getting bad when he says why aren't you better yet as if you could control it. Doesn't the counsellor bring this up? He needs to learn to love with no strings attached. I know it is difficult but he must start somewhere. Okay he needs a little rope and freedom but you also need his love and help, especially at this time.

Does he go with you to church? I was the least qualified to give love having been brought up as an orphan, but church was where I learned everything about being a good husband. When you are accountable to Christ you have a conscience about these things and know that it can affect your relationship with Christ when you are not being loving. We can all be what we couldn't be in the natural with His help. I have proved this in my life. I don't think I loved anyone but myself at the start. When we realise how much God loves us it has to overflow. Keep praying for him. These things can be worked with His help.

Yes you do need to keep forgiving because God has forgiven you. It is hard to have God's forgiveness if we can't forgive ourselves. I know it is easy to see the other's faults and be aware of what they should be doing, but you must resist any manipulation or control. You can say how you feel in honesty. Rather than saying you always you could say I feel this or that. No time is wasted as a christian if you are looking to Him. Something is being worked out even if it is in you.

You must resist any domination or manipulation also. That is not what being subject means. It's more about keeping the unity but not at that price.
Raymond is offline   Reply With Quote