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Old 19th August 2011, 07:36 AM   #29
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 29
Re: Married and lonely

Hello there,
Thanks for your input and questions. First of all, I am employed part time, as a medical secretary. I am a full time parent, meaning that because I work just near our son's school, I am able to drop off and pick him up from sch. Also I am able to run to the school, whenever there is an emergency, which seldom happens. But I am always there for our son.

I say, "my son" when referring to our ten-year-old to keep his name anonymous; but yes, he is both mine and my husband's son. Therefore we both played a part with his conception. There is no other man in my life, except Jesus. I do have friends, both male and female, but I have never been unfaithful to my husband and never will.

If we do break up, my main focus would be in serving our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ and to continue to look after our son, until he is old enough to be independent.

Chamomile is right when she/he (not sure if male or female) mentions about being tolerant. Yes it's true, I have truly adopted a spirit of tolerance, more so for His sake, but also for my son's sake. If there was no child I know I would have packed up and left this marriage, in a jiffy!

As I have been saying, I'm not sure how long I can take it, but I do know this cannot go on forever and something has to give! I'm doing my best to remain sane, as at times living in this house can be so unbearable. Money is not all. My husband does not make all that much money, but his salary does help pay for the bills, which I am grateful for. However, it takes more than his salary to make ends meet. My part time salary especially, brings in extra cash for disposable income, for holidays, etc. So my part time job income, goes a long way.

About working to make the marriage work, I've done that already. God is not in the business of flattery. In fact God despises flattery, as He has mentioned in the scriptures. If my husband does not want to remain married to me, there is nothing I or anyone can do to change that. People change and we've got to accept that. God never forces anyone to do anything they don't want to do. He gives us choices to do what is right or not, but it is up to us to make those choices. My h just does not care anymore and prefers to resort to living a bachelor's life again.

I have not mentioned half of the things that I am going through, but God is my witness. Even our son asks questions when he sees things going on. He has even asked why his daddy does the things that he does and also why he does not take him out and do stuff with him, like his friends' dads.

I believe sometimes the situation is affecting our son and it hurts me to see him suffer, because of his dad's irresponsibility in the home. I have to sometimes comfort him and just say that we need to continue to pray about the situation. Even my friends suspect that things are not right between me and my h and have made comments about our situation.

What can I say, but that it is a great testing, indeed! But who knows where all this is going.
Only God knows.

God bless you.

PS: Just to comment about the counselling question posed by '1aokgal', yes, I have sort counselling from the pastor of our church and also outside help. Then when we get counselling and all goes well for a few days or perhaps weeks, then he, my h slowly slips back into his dirty habits, over and over again. Therefore, there is nothing more I can do or even say, for that matter, than to wholly trust the Lord for some kind of answer, which I do not have at this point in time, except that this too shall pass.
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,
That whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

"For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world,
But that the world through Him
might be saved." JN 3:16,17

Grace be with you all.
God bless!

Last edited by Shasha; 19th August 2011 at 10:08 AM.
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