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Old 15th August 2011, 11:54 PM   #22
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Re: Married and lonely

Hi Sasha, I am new on this post but post actively on another one. Faith in God is very important and without God in our lives it would be almost impossible. My husband sounds similar to yours. He sits in front of the tv too and watches reruns. I have also called my husband an idiot because that's what he is.

He has a woman who loves him and yet he chooses to m instead of being with me. I was a mess when I first went on the other post and it was good to talk with Christians and one poster was going through the same thing I had been only she had done it for 20 years. My h has ed and I just didn't know how to deal with it so I went on here and found the help I needed.

Nothing has changed between us except that he is loving in that he says he loves me and will hug me and kiss me but not in the romantic way. The last time we had good sex was last October and this past Feb. we tried but he couldn't finish, if you know what I mean. I got upset because I was frustrated and he hasn't attempted anything since then.

He volunteers up at the local canyon and is a ranger but when he comes home its to the tv he goes and he's watching the same movies over and over again so I can't keep watching them so I go in the bedroom. We don't sleep together anymore and that is just as well since nothing is happening. I racked my brain trying to figure out what the problem was and at first I thought it was me.

Since I am attractive and not overly overweight I just didn't get it. I could stand to lose 8 pounds I guess but I have a shapely figure so after coming on here I realized that it was not me. What gets me is that he used excuses that only a stupid person would believe. He won't get help and I feel very lonely sometimes even though I am living with a man.

Sometimes I feel like the housekeeping and cook and we are just roommates or something but he does tell me he loves me. Today I found out he's been worrying about finances because I lost my job and he is retired and gets social security. He seems good natured about it most of the time and never complained because I was laid off due to the economy.

It is very hard to get a man to talk and you get frustrated when he seems to treat you with no respect. One time I went in the front room and he had the cable on soft porn and was m. This was awhile ago and I hit the roof. I asked him how he could do this to me when I'm in the next room and he denied. Told me I didn't just see what I thought.

I know he has a habit of watching 2 channels at once when a commercial is on but I know what I saw.The next morning he bent over backwards to tell me that the only reason he hasn't made love to me is because he had a blister or sore in the area and was concerned that I believe him and since then he has never made that mistake again.

Now those kind of movies come on really late and he goes to bed way before then. Men seem to always have some problem, don't they? I may be doing better but I still feel like something is missing and I have to read my bible and pray every day but I'm not stressed out like I used to be. My h does not look at other women but neither does he compliment me when I look really nice, not until later or not at all.

I can related to some of what you are going through but you are still young while I am 56 now and I don't want you looking back and regretting your decision to stay with a man who never changed in the least and then you are older and while it isn't impossible for me to find someone else, you don't want to waste many years if he doesn't want to at least try in the marriage.

I have decided to stay with mine because we still have good times and I've not ruled out sex between us. I did that awhile back and he suddenly wanted me and it was great again just as it used to be. I would have a hard time if my h watched porn all,the time. He is not computer literate and I have the only computer in the house.

I believe he truly loves me and that he can't help what is happening to him since he is 65, 9 years older than me, but I also can't see myself not ever having sex again, so we'll have to wait and see. My h is retired and so he likes to watch tv and he hurt his back years ago and was forced to retire.

I am assuming your husband is younger so for him to just want to sit in front of the tv is a problem. I was told that I'm only looking at the bad in him and I should look at all the things he does for me and to be happy with that. I am aware of all his good qualities, but that doesn't make it better for us, now does it?

He is saved but he was a catholic for many years and I was raised in a penticostal church so there are differences. He loves God and has changed so much since meeting me and I feel God wanted us together because he's been kinder to me than any other man. But I don't condone living a life where you are mostly unhappy.

I have always had a system in determining if you should remain in a relationship and I haven't shared this on the other thread. Make a list of pros and cons. Write down all the positive things on one side and all the negative things on the other and compare them. Also, my motto has always been if you are more unhappy than happy then it is time to move on.

I forgot my own motto apparently but there are times when I'm still happy so I guess I will hang in there but not even God can force a person to change or do what's right.
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