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Old 1st May 2012, 09:19 AM   #61
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: How do I trust him again?

sammie, he may well be repentant, I hope so very much, but he was still very very foolish to go and see her again in her own country after the affair had apparently stopped. Whether he told you or not that was absolutely wrong and wont have helped you..
As Raymond said, trust cant take a very long time to be built up, years and years in some cases, and that is why some marriages do end after an affair. After my first husbands betrayal, I had 6 years as a single mum, then remarried. Even after all that time, it took me a long time to completely trust my poor second husband even though he is the most trustworthy moral and good man I have evet met!

I really think that you and he need to accept that it will probably take years before you feel at ease again. A lady that I know on another forum found out about 5 years ago that her husband had cheated on her 17 years before, and it took her about 4 years to stop feeling worried and scared every time he met with a female client again. I think she has just about got there now, but its been a long hard road. Fortunately her husband understood and was very patient with her, giving her all the reassurance she needed.
Maybe some good marriage counselling will help you both to understand this.
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