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Old 12th January 2005, 03:08 AM   #69
Another Psychologist
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Re: masturbation, porn and marriage

I'm surprised hearing some of these things from a psychologist. Firstly despite what some antiporn crusaders have said, MOST men do NOT try and fulfill the sexual fantasies they see in porn in real life. The operative word here is FANTASY and if a man chooses to indulge his fantasy sexual desires in the real world it instantly ceases to be a fantasy and therefore loses it's arousal power and appeal. Too many other things get in the way. It is the unreal world of porn that he (and most men) are interested in. Reality is just that...reality whith all the dangers and pitfalls.

This is especially true of married men who like to see young girls. Now I should point out that we are talking about girls in their late teens here, although it's hard to tell how old most of them are. If he's looking at pics of girls without breasts, then that's anothing thing. But that aside, do you really believe he would go out searching for a teen willing to have sex with him...for free!? Yes, he could force her but let's be realistic here. He's just a horny husband who likes his porn. Not a rapist or a child molestor.

The same goes for a whole range of bizzare and extreme sexual fantasies that many normal everyday men, husbands and fathers, indulge in. Rarely do they "take it outside" Like I said reality is messy and dealing with real people is just not as satisfying as porn. Porn is easy, it can be anything you want with no holds barred. It is his own private world, that's why porn is a billion dollar business.

Being bi-polar is especially difficult and it's not hard to see why a man with such a disease would seek relief from his troubles masturbating to porn. Plus, you don't have the common wife-of- the- porn- user complaint of little or no sexual attraction or desire for you. That is a plus. If that WAS the case I could see you getting angry but instead you produce a red-herring.....you think he will abuse your daughters. Read the literature, it rarely happens. Remember, it's only a fantasy.

Cut him some slack.
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