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Old 17th April 2014, 08:49 PM   #34
edgya1234
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Re: Question for men - I would apreciate your candid opinion

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raymond View Post
It sound like you love each other Edgya but are both destroying each other with words.

One of you has to start acts of love, even just kind words. He is upset about something and obviously has his own hangups by the sound of it. These things can be sorted out. It might be an idea to have a third party perhaps a marriage counsellor to mediate between you.

He sounds immature but can grow if the love is there. You are both damaged people. Who isn't? My upbringing was probably worse than yours. My parents divorced when I was a baby and I only remember being in various orphanages being sexually abused in one of them. I am no stranger to rejection. I went to a meeting where someone spoke in a strange tongue. After a silence someone interpreted it saying: "You life is a dry desert. so dry that there are cracks appearing in it. I want to come and seep down into those cracks and bring life to your soul". I knew God has spoken to me and found out later that the way to hi, was through his son.

Marriage is always about give and take and compromise but you can find yourself in it and be happy in spite of problems although it is certainly not all problems in my experience. There are days of heaven on earth and maybe you have experienced some of that. It is worth fighting for.

Instead of giving tit for tat. I would try a soft answer to turn away his wrath. You need to get back to talking and sharing instead of living in a stalemate. If he really wants a divorce there is nothing you can do about it but I kind of suspect he doesn't and that may just be a cry for help.
Oh my God Raymond I am so sorry. I did not want to dig up old wounds. Than I was lucky I had a mother that loved me to death and a pair of grandparents that thought me the most wonderful things in life. That thought me that there is no "mountain" I can move and I can achieve what I wanted. Eventually when I turned 28 my father came around and he really loves me in his own way. Actually he was my support through those days.
I want to do all those things Raymond: I was accepted to some of the most prestigious top 50 business schools in the world and they bend rules for me just because they think I am outstanding professional. I have professors writing and calling me to convince me to chose their school. I fulfilled most of my dreams and I want to go on and run a multinational and then become a motivational speaker. I want to do all that and more.
I would like my husband to be happy for me, to share this with me. It was our goal last year not just mine. He used to be so proud that he has his beautiful overachiever geek who wanted to change the world.
Now he is completely against my work, my dreams and my life style and wants to be with his parents (more like with his mother).
I can't compete with his mother Raymond. I just can't. She told me once that she will separate us and well she tried so hard. Most of our fights were because of her and her not so normal demands.
I do not know what to do. I thought I should write him a long email, an assertive one about how I see things or how I feel about everything. And then life will tell. I will see how it goes but is up to him. If he still loves me I am willing to help me if he wants his own life I am not running after him.
What do you think about the email?
You are a very nice person really. You deserve the best in life. I hope you will get it.
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