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Old 9th March 2012, 02:49 AM   #31
Posts: n/a
Re: Should I say yes?

You seem determined to get married to whoever appears on the scene! What is the big rush? Marriage is FOREVER. A car you buy because you like it. You trade it in a few years later for something newer. A husband is around until your hair turns grey and then some.
One of the greatest tasks for a woman, when she marries, is to find a man who is decent, moral, carring and motivated. That is best done with care, thought and love, and we hope that will last for all the years ahead.

You weren't all that attracted to this man (or the other one either) and kept trying to make that guy fit to get him to marry you. Where are your girlfriends and family to do things with, instead of a guy, whether you like him or not? It isn't the free lunches/dinners, is it? You should be working on your career, more education, and having enjoyable times with friends...not going out with someone you are lukewarm about. It isn't fair to tie up a mans' time so you can look him over and keep him around to meet (perhaps) your ego needs.

Remember, all the sweetness and willing to please at the beginning isn't because he wants to get married! You think marriage, men think about sex, and what he needs to do to get to home plate. Of course, they jump through many hurdles to please a woman at that stage. How do you tell the man he is not your type or you want off the marry-go-round of seeing someone you aren't daffy about. Here are ways you tell him.

How do you tell him? "Thank you very much, but I made plans with friends this weekend. Thanks, but I have a lot of studying to do in the next couple of weeks. I enjoyed to see you and spend some time, but I need to put time into my job. Right now, I'd rather not get involved in anything serious. or I need some time to think about the future and goals I set for myself. Get too busy and don't return his calls. That is kinder than to play the man for your comfort. There are PLENTY of women out there. He will get out there as fast as a wink!
You would be AMAZED at how fast he will be standing on another womans' doorstep. He will get over you quickly enough!

He will get the picture and quickly move on. I think your self confidence needs are such you seem to need a lot of reassurance from men. You should be secure in yourself. A woman can have dates/friends without that leading to marriage. Stay out of sticky situations and stay out of the clinches. Don't go to a mans' apartment and don't linger in his car after an outing. Play it straight and you will meet someone in time. NO rush.

For myself, I put dating off the calendar and concentrated on career and education and met my husband by chance. One of the things he liked about me was I was focused on improving my career and didn't give men any time. It interested him that I had goals.

A woman so anxiety ridden to marry is not that attractive to most men. That shows one is needy and a man will shy away from that. Set some goals for yourself and wait to meet the right one. Don't marry in haste and end up in years of regret.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 10th March 2012 at 04:53 PM.
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