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Edinburger · 13th February 2016, 12:32 AM

This is my first time posting so apologies for the length but I don't know what else to do.

My wife and I have been married for nearly 2 years, we met when we worked together as we're both lawyers. Nowadays we don't work together and but do very different jobs but our similar backgrounds have led to problems.

Since we got married my career has been going well but my wife has found hers slightly more difficult. As a result, in the past, she has admitted to being jealous of my achievements and has openly said she wished I wasn't doing as well. She's got upset when I've talked about work in front of friends and family and she used to show no interest in my work. When we did talk about my work she would very quickly get upset and we'd end up talking about how difficult she found things and the conversation was all about her.

We eventually went to a therapist and my wife decided that we should make more of an effort to talk about our work. This seemed to work for a few weeks but she quickly changed it round so that we most of the time talking about her - how well she was doing at not getting upset and how difficult she found it to be happy for me.

My wife has 3 siblings and they are all very competitive so I think this is how she was raised as she acts in the same way to other people as well.

Today I received some news that was possibly the biggest event of my career so far, and instead of being happy for me she just started talking about how well she thought she'd handled it. We didn't spend any time celebrating my achievement as she couldn't handle the spotlight being on someone else.

I've always supported her, in my old job my career wasn't going anywhere and she was earning a lot more than me but I celebrated her success and encouraged her to go for things she wanted. All I want is the same support but I don't think I'm getting it.

I've tried to explain this to her but she thinks her behaviour is the issue and won't recognise that she has a problem letting others be the centre of attention. I don't know what else to do.

If anyone has been in a similar situation or has any suggestions they'd be gratefully received.

13th February 2016, 12:32 AM	#1
Edinburger Registered User Join Date: Feb 2016 Posts: 1	Am I being unreasonable? This is my first time posting so apologies for the length but I don't know what else to do. My wife and I have been married for nearly 2 years, we met when we worked together as we're both lawyers. Nowadays we don't work together and but do very different jobs but our similar backgrounds have led to problems. Since we got married my career has been going well but my wife has found hers slightly more difficult. As a result, in the past, she has admitted to being jealous of my achievements and has openly said she wished I wasn't doing as well. She's got upset when I've talked about work in front of friends and family and she used to show no interest in my work. When we did talk about my work she would very quickly get upset and we'd end up talking about how difficult she found things and the conversation was all about her. We eventually went to a therapist and my wife decided that we should make more of an effort to talk about our work. This seemed to work for a few weeks but she quickly changed it round so that we most of the time talking about her - how well she was doing at not getting upset and how difficult she found it to be happy for me. My wife has 3 siblings and they are all very competitive so I think this is how she was raised as she acts in the same way to other people as well. Today I received some news that was possibly the biggest event of my career so far, and instead of being happy for me she just started talking about how well she thought she'd handled it. We didn't spend any time celebrating my achievement as she couldn't handle the spotlight being on someone else. I've always supported her, in my old job my career wasn't going anywhere and she was earning a lot more than me but I celebrated her success and encouraged her to go for things she wanted. All I want is the same support but I don't think I'm getting it. I've tried to explain this to her but she thinks her behaviour is the issue and won't recognise that she has a problem letting others be the centre of attention. I don't know what else to do. If anyone has been in a similar situation or has any suggestions they'd be gratefully received.