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Old 1st December 2010, 08:30 PM   #15
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: My husband had a affair!!

Moggie I can totally understand that you wonder how he can do that if he loves you. I would wonder that as well, bacuse if you love someone surely you dont do something that would greatly hurt them do you?
When my mother discovered my fathers affair, he told her that he loved both of them, and while he stayed with my mum, he carried on seeing the OW and married her after mums sudden traumatic death.
Maybe its something that we will never understand.

Dont worry about swinging between feelings and logic and emotions, its all part of adjusting to the shock and the trauma. July is very recent, only 4 months ago, and thats nothing really, so be patient with yourself. These things take a long time to get through.

I can also relate to wanting to know everything. I am like that also, I need to know the facts and details before I can accept it and move on. My husband is different in that he doesnt need to know things like that. I would rather know all the details no matter how much they hurt, than to think that things were being kept from me. Compete honesty and openess is vital for me.

I really admire people like you and rainbow who stay in the marriage, and try to work it out. I hope and pray that neither of you will regret it, and that things can be good again one day.
I think I am too cynical after seeing practically every marriage on my family destroyed by lying cheating and betrayal. However, I do know a few marriages that have survived adultery, and they seem OK.
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