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Old 9th July 2014, 11:31 PM   #28
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Am i sinning and how do i stop?

Just wanted to pose some questions.
If I wasnt willing to try and change and get help for something serious that was deeply troubling and affecting my husband and damaging my marriage, what does that say about my love for my husband and commitment to his well being? It says to me that I am more important than him, that I dont really care enough about his needs or well being to actually seek help or make that effort, and that I would rather bury my head in the sand than actually put their needs and happiness before my own.

We cant force our spouses to change as you said Raymond, but we can help each other to see what needs to be changed and have some boundaries as to what we will or wont accept. We can communicate our deepest needs and expectations to them, and strongly request some sort of couples counselling/ prayer/ministry/therapy to deal with it. Or ask that they get some sort of counselling/therapy/medical help/prayer for themselves and their problems.

God is very wise, and when He says that we must NOT deprive each other of sex, that's what He means. He doesn't give 'cop out' clauses, or reasons why we ourselves dont need to obey him in this, He simply says that we must not do it. Even someone who is disabled or ill can usually be physically affectionate to some extent, and at least do something to ensure that their partner isn't left frustrated.

I feel for those spouses, men and women,who are treated in this way. There is no excuse as far as I can see. There is SOO much help out there now for people who have medical/emotional sexual issues, unlike say 30-50 years ago.

Last edited by chosen; 9th July 2014 at 11:40 PM.
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