[Raymond]

I think you have let thoughts weedle away within you Rainbow. If you trust him and know he won't cheat again then something needs to happen in you. Forgiveness is the major thing and that means forgetting. I trust you have his repentance. I know you can never forget it in once sense as it happened and is part of your memory. What I mean is forgetting it on purpose and stopping the playback and jealousy. This will take time but it is the only way forward I can see. If you hadn't had his repentance I would never advise this. Forgiveness is part of life. We all need it when we are sorry and none of us are perfect. I know we are talking about a major thing here but the principle is the same.

The alternative is to divorce him but you don't want to do that and if you trust him now you have to go forward and not stay in a halfway house. I agree with you. having done that you now need to mend the relationship and make it so that you can receive him.