crush

Well, circumstances have finally changed. Ex has left ow, for now at least, he says he will not be going back. He has not asked to come back here but after the last time I don't think he would dare. He is back with his parents for now but wants to get a place of his own. He will not talk about what has happened but has been round here at the weekend late at night to see kids and I was mad a myself for allowing him to do so.

He still has no remorse or guilt for what he did and is still laying all the blame at my door. He wants money from me now as I am still in the marital home. He expects me to go into debt to set him up as he "needs a life". Don't we all!! He is still such a selfish man I cannot believe I never saw it during our marriage. Our divorce is almost final now but am waiting on the financial side to be sorted out.

What has annoyed me the most is that ow still has her life and will contine as normal she has her own house left by her husband after they divorced!!! We are the ones that lose out again as we both have nothing. I still don't feel much better 10 months down the line as much as I try he always comes back in and makes me feel bad. The trouble now is I am going to be tied to this house for as long as my children are at school because if I decide to sell and move on he wants his 50% out of the house. I cannot buy anything at all with what is left even having a mortgage to help fund it so again I just feel trapped. I so want to move on with my life but feel he will have the control as he always has.

He has lost friends because of what he has done. His parents have nothing to do with me anymore and that has hurt me so much as I am the victim here not him. I expected them to support him but their behaviour has also been so cruel. They accepted ow into their lives and did not look back but now she is out of the loop so to speak I only hope they sleep at nights.

I wanted 2010 to be our year, me and the kids, and it has not been a great start so far so am hoping things can get better.