Thread: Baronness
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Old 22nd August 2011, 08:57 PM   #40
1aokgal
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

Dear Chamomile...

Thank you for you comments on my postings. I spent some years fighting anger and also felt victimized and, "poor little me...why is this happening? How can he do this to me? What did I do to turn him off,etc.)
I heard all this in Baroness post along with the inward scream that reminded me of myself. You didn't know on this site, but I made a personal phone call her and we talked.

There was a need to alter things for Baroness, because she has nothing to do with his problems. Her mindset was poison which disables a person. I made suggestions to assist an interest and where she could alter at least, the income for a time. It is a little bandaide, but creativity can replace the feeling of helplessness. One has control over some factors and there is peace. That assists the ability to talk rationally with her husband and perhaps work out some issues.

Employment at this time is almost impossible to find. Her disability claim stands a two year waiting time. While I understand he likes going to the canyon, he should only be getting paid sideline jobs. Many men his age will do that for these times. Baroness is quick to defend his need to go be a "guy" thing, but it defies the reality of their economic needs. When a guy talks about folding a one bedroom apartment, he should be doing nothing freebie. That is my opinion.

It is great to see her composure is better. She enjoys the sewing which is a peaceful task. She can turn her interest and talent into a really good biz. I know more than a few who have done very well with these items.

We all realize when we post here we may not always like the advice we hear. Sometimes we lack clarity that others see from a distance. The great thing is there is a lot of problem solving collective in years of living here. All this advice is given free to one who needs input. While we all came to ASK, many stay to GIVE, and that is the humanity here. We do care.

Will her marriage survive the lack of intimacy and his need for "space" and
the tough times? Times are bad and many marriages will be tested. We hope things will go better for her.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 22nd August 2011 at 09:03 PM.