[Raymond]

I have mixed feelings aboput this. I would say our spouses are not responsible to meet all our needs. That is too much for anyone. That doesn't mean there isn't room for improvement as it is the paramount relationship we have in our lives apart from God of course.

Obviously you didn't realise all this and couldn't do anything about it. I don't think it is wrong to have the temperment you have and you shouldn't try to be someone else, but you definitely need to work on your marriage together. I would suggest marriage counselling from a good marriage counselor. You could put this to her but whatever you do do not crawl as it will be very unbecoming for you.

Having different interests is irrelevant really. My wife and I have different interests but we do take an interest in the other's interests if you know what I mean. There will always be activities you can share. My wife and I walk a lot but she doesn't play tennis with me or do swimming with me. I wouldn't want her to unless she was really keen.

If she is willing it is now time for serious talk. Let her know the things where you really felt you let her down but don't promise things which aren't you or that you cannot keep up. This is a wake up call for you both to work on your marriage. I only hope you can prevent this disaster happening. I think she is making a big mistake but the good thing is that it is an opportunity to both work on your marriage.