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Old 29th July 2003, 08:07 AM   #6
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Re: marraige repair

Quote:
Originally posted by Joyce50
Dear Kate,
Thanks for your reply :-)
We have His needs Her needs on tape :-) We ahve listened through once but I believe we need to continue listening until Don "gets it ."
I have not yet purchased the Five Languages of Love.
But I will. Thanks for the websites. I will ck them out.
This morning Don and I had a long talk and he did admit he thinks he is physically addicted to Vicodin ( he is taking for an undiagnosed chronic pain problem we are currenlt trying to diagonse) he admitted that he needs to go back to AA and probable Narcotics Annoymous. I have every plan to call Al Anon tomorrow and find out where the meetings are and when and will begin going. I am commited to seeing this thorugh as long as he is willing to seek help to end the destructive behaviors.
He has even gotten into my purse and taken my morphine and oxycontin that I take for chorinc pain problems. He at least admitted this to me. He said " if you love me you would give me all I need." I signed a Narcotic agreement with my Dr and part of that contract is I will NOT GIVE THE DRUGS TO ANYONE ELSE, I know this includes my husband. Yet he continues to beg me for my narcotics and my muscle relaxers ( I have fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue syndrome and severe back pain due to degenertive arthritis) He does not see that this is taking much needed medication from me. Also his railroad job forbids the use of any drug that can alter brain function. He took one of my muscle relaxers and I did not know he also took 2 Vicodin until after the fact, he was drugged and out it for 10 hours and would have been in terrible trouble if he had been called out to work.
He continually emotionally manipulates me over the drugs and tells me I am a terrible wife and I do not love him because I refuse to give them to him and I am so sick of it and it makes me feel very resntful. :-(
I have begun hiding the drugs in different places every day ( we have a large house thank goodness)
A Bi-polar dignosis has yet to be proven but I am going to pursue this.
I feel so blessed to have found our site. I know God brought me to it :-)
I will keep you updated if you would like.
Did I tell you I am a nurse? This helps me greatly to understand exactly what is going on pplus I have been in therapy since 1983
not because I am so totally screwed up but because I have had so much crisis and trauma in my life. I went on social security disability in 1995 after getting ill everytime I tried to work. I know how much work Don has to do to change but I also told him this morning that he will only get through it and heal and destroy the destructive behaviors if he gets into the Word and gets where he had been two years ago with the Lord and continues in theraphy( which by the way the therapy centher we go to run by the Assembly of God so it is all christian based therapy ). Don was saved in the 80's I was saved in 1973.
We go to a fabulous church( about 3500 memebers and growing very fast and we have a fabulous pastor.) It is a non denominational spirit filled church. On the pentecostal side.
I don't know if you have heard of Joyce Meyers or Ceflo Dollar, Kenneth Hagin., Kenneth Copeland/ Benn Hinn, jesse Duplantis. These are some of the ministeries we follow on TV and many come to teach at our church. Well I guess I am done filling you in on a little more about us. I am a very open person. After so manyyyyyy years of theraphy I know you have to just keep at it for things to heal and get better. I am far from perfect and know I have issues and am working on them 1x a week in theraphy on top of seeing the pastoral couple at our church 1x a week. I told my hubby this morning we can get through this and it will gte better if we just put all of it in the Lords hands and work on our marriage everyday. Don has never had a functional marriage ( 2 only lasted once year ( he married the day after his second divorce ) his 3rd marraige lasted 10 years with the birh of 3 kids now 18, 16, 14 his 16 yr old daughter is pregnant and due next month. They live in Arizona. MNay of Don's neices and nephes have real probems I suspect one neice is Bi polar. His mom is a SWEETHEART
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