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Old 10th October 2015, 10:56 PM   #2
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: my life is a mess/loveless life

David in my opinion you have this all wrong, its not about what YOU want but what your children NEED. I think that you need to think of your children and not yourself. They need a father and mother to be with them all the time not occasionally, and you made the decision to keep on having them and you now have to be a man and be responsible and get back to them. They should be no 1 in your life for the next 15-20 years to be honest and if you didnt want that commitment then you shouldnt have had them.

The new lady clearly isnt ready for another relationship, if she was she would have stopped seeing her boyfriend (there is no reason for her to see him) and wouldnt be blowing hot and cold. Could she honestly deal with you having to spend most of your spare time with your children(which I hope you will be doing and are doing) for the next 15 years and more? Can you afford to pay maintenance for these children as well as look after more if this new lady wants children too?

Think of them, they need you, and they are entirely innocent in this mess. make every effort to work on the relationship with their mother, (why didnt you marry her ages ago?) instead of abandoning her and them. We mistakenly think that if we havent got his all consuming romantic love for our partner then its not real, it is, and when you think how many in the world have arranged marriages and they get on with it, and even if you love her as a good friend and companion that is enough. leaving her to manage alone with 4 small children is not right.

Last edited by chosen; 11th October 2015 at 07:09 AM.
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