1aokgal

Dear Faith1....

I am glad we are POST event and you got past some whirlpool emotions to see clearly. What you saw in the last week were defects in a man's character as opposed to what we want to see. Granted that it is not easy to find a man who has a true character and will be that one for the long haul. Even in todays' marriage market, with all best intent, half of marriages end in divorce.

If you read the stats for divorced women it is worse. Each subsequent marriage has less chance to work. That means one needs to analyze and not go with just emotion. So you do the best thing to get to the gym and work on your wellness. Put distance from the dating game. Let's get some stability in friendships of women of good character and independent. Yes, I am talking about women who own businesses or put emphasis on education and goal oriented. Men truly admire such women and these gals find good men because they are not needy with strong ideas about integrity/character.

What I found unnerving about the friendship you described is that is was NOT a friendship. This man clearly relegated you to the sidelines of his life and did not regard you either as an equal or as a woman who had feelings. He knew your heart as you were clear in your desires. He also knew how much you could be hurt. None of that seemed to matter. SO I tell you that he was prepared to use you as a commodity available as he chose and discarded when he moved on. That disturbed me that you took that much risk for so little return.

What does that say? It says that you have not got a lot of self protection and that in exchange for some time you would put your heart out there. NO,No, dear girl, never do that again. What are you worth? Why everything. A man should be the giver, protector and one who gives shelter and does not expose the woman to gossip or hurt. The man might be adorable but he is a charmer like none of us need. You need to demand more for yourself.

You can say he was truthful. That is dubious as he told the truth when cornered. He volunteered nothing.

The difference in customs, religion and habits to the extreme. I think you want to be treated as a woman who can think and whose ideas are valued. That just is not the norm with Moslem men and women. The women are very subservient..even the ones who are educated as doctors and lawyers.

You are doing the very best thing to take better care of yourself. That is my game plan to work on my wellness with more walks and to use care for the good stuff out for Xmas. Have you plans for Xmas? Any relatives available where you are?
The other girl I told you about writes and sent me a photo. She is now 6 months pregnant. She is a sweet girl with big problems.

Keep in touch and I will exchange my email address for you if you like.
Just like MOM worries about you
1aokgal