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Old 29th October 2009, 06:05 AM   #6
Jazz204
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5
Re: What is the right thing to do for my wife right now?

I can relate strongly to both sides of this relationship. I too lost a parent, fell into grief mode and lost the plot. I will tell you clearly and simply, from both reading your letter and knowing what she is going through, what you should do.
1. Be there for her, even though she will spurn you.
2. Be aware that she is vulnerable as far as having an affair is concerned. She will think the other man is giving her the emotional support you are not but ultimately she is wrong. You will be able to give her far more of what is required than anyone else can.
3. Learn what women require. Read books. Men are from Mars, John Gray. The Power of Now, Eckhardt Tolle. Learn how you have lived your life through your ego all your life and how in order to have a rich replationship, you need to learn a lot of things. Start now.
4. You can give her space and also live with her. Learn to listen to her, hear her, ask questions, be still. Just love her. It will be worth it.
5. Dont allow yourself to be pulled along by her black way of thinking. Be yourself strongly but kindly.

So there we have it. Move back in with her, read books, get counselling yourself, be strong and consistent with your wife, by strong I mean solid, always the same, loving always, regardless of anything. Learn how to love more. Help around the house quietly, make sure she knows you are on to her as far as other men and texting etc is concerned. You, the father of her children, are far more important than any stranger or acquaintance who has their own set of problems.
What do you think of that? As well as time, your wife will need help to sort out why her grief is so profound - the older woman may help there. Lots to think about, for your childrens sake as well as yours and your wifes, start the action now. Today.
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