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Old 18th September 2015, 10:14 AM   #7
chosen
Registered User
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Courage to leave my 11 year marriage

Quote:
Originally Posted by msjlhunter View Post
Thank you for your replies.

Luckily we don't have any children or a mortgage and such, so there's nothing really to tie me down.

I have been wanting to leave him for a long time, I did actually move out but only managed 3 months. The only way he would 'let' me move out before was if I saw him every day. So, as you can imagine I didn't actually get the space I needed. (This was before he found out I cheated).

I guess a massive part of me wanted him to leave me when he found out I cheated, that way it would have saved me doing it.

Just last night he came home from work with 3 boxes of chocolates and said he was sorry for been horrible. This is what he does, then everything will be fine for a couple of weeks until he starts on me again then it's back to square one.

He always blames me for ruining our relationship due to infidelity but he doesn't seem to realise or understand how much his words or his violence affected me from the beginning. Instead of us getting through it and sorting things out it has made me dislike him a lot.

Also I'm not telling my family, they are all for him. They think I am the terrible one for cheating and do not know the full extent of what he has done to me.. They don't know that New Year's Eve 2 years ago he gave me a black eye, bust my lip and left me with bruises every where. I may be daft but I figure the less family and friends who know about this... The less people can try and talk me out of it.
Are you saying that if your family knew that he beat you black and blue and threatened you with violence they would want you to stay? IF you were my daughter I would have told you to go years ago. PLease tell those closest to you.

IF you go to a womans refuge they will protect you. See about that restraining order. Abusive men will always apologise and promise never to do it again. Pack while he is at work and go. Dont tell him anything.
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