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Old 2nd April 2004, 10:47 AM   #2
Liz
Moderator
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 662
Dear Diagnostix,

Honouring your father and mother does not mean submitting all your decisions to their approval. It does however mean making every effort to show respect by listening to what they say and considering it and endeavouring to maintain your relationship with them.

If you are over 18 and an adult, you choose who you will marry. You don't say why your parents are unhappy with the girl you want to marry. Have you listened to their concerns and prayed about it? Are you marrying someone who shares your Christian beliefs? This may not seem important to you now when you are excited about your love, but there will be many challenges ahead if you do not share the same beliefs and values.

In considering leaving your parents and cleaving to your wife, are you in a position to leave your parents in this way and start a new family? Are they dependent on your support in any way?

Is there someone in your church that you could talk to about this? How are you going to build a relationship between your new wife and your parents. This is something that you and your fiancée need to talk through. You may find the article on in laws useful. At present it is written from the parents in law point of view - a version for those couple marrying is planned. You may well find some useful insights in the existing one into how your parents are feeling about your impending marriage.

If you want to share the specific issues that are troubling your parents here, then someone may have experience or advice to share with you.

I do hope that you can find a way to mutual understand and acceptance with your parents. Most parents want the best for their children, but they do not always see all the issues clearly. In the same way you may not be aware of some of the pitfalls they are aware of, so I believe that for Christians like yourselves this calls for mutual respect and an open mind willing to listen even to those things you don't want to hear.

With best wishes

Liz
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