Thread: Broke boyfriend
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Old 9th April 2015, 06:00 PM   #28
Lindentree1
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Join Date: Mar 2015
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Smile Re: Broke boyfriend

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1aokgal View Post
Dear Lindentree..

Minnesota? Wow, that is cold and rural. Were you raised on a farm? How did you go from there to Chicago? I know there are still many Mennonites in that area and large family owned farms. I have seen films of that area, but never there. I do Geneology online, and Minnesota is interesting for history of immigrants.

I am one who loves rural, and enjoy a drive in the country (with the dog), and often take pics to use in oil painting. Your dog doing OK? I am sure to avoid crowds and hectic city places. Big shopping malls are wasted on me. We have a botanical garden in the area with pleasant pathways and that outing sure brightens my day. I read your story and I feel your sadness at how someone you think you know, can become cold and a stranger. Personally, I think men shut down pretty harsh...more than women. When it gets to the point you realized all is lost, then comes time you need to save yourself and salvage what you can to begin again. It is not easy to build a new life, or gain skills for survival. When one is a pair, and then you need to survive alone, it can be overwhelming.

I see many churches now have meetings for separated, divorced, and that can be very helpful and supportive. Our city has an activity section of the newspaper with all kinds of support groups. That helped me for a time deal with the extreme anxiety and grief I felt when a marriage was over. There is the need to survive financially, and all the physical things that come with that stress. I hope you have kind people and family to give you support as this goes along. One day it just gets better.

Since my husband is away all the time, I also have to be comfortable in my own space. I love the painting lessons on U-tube and creating something beautiful in the use of my time. I think I have a bit to share about life, so post here at times.
The problem you have you posted about is clearly Sciatica, and pain radiates down one leg from the back. That is most likely a herniated disk. This disk problem can result from some physical strain, picking up something heavy, or even weak abdominals, sitting too much, needing more strength exercises. There are some simple stretch exercises that help (online) this, but Sciatica can run from excruciating pain, to one becoming immobile. The swelling involved in an injury takes months to heal. Yes, I know that problem well, as do millions who lose work time because of "bad back" discomfort.

Do you and your husband talk about your situation or does he just blow you off?
Today, I paint, Tomorrow, I have to do the blasted taxes, which takes me several days to do complicated biz return and such. I feel like condemned! I can't procrastinate any longer on the task. On your return..I would file separately, and not bend to his needs or desires. Sounds like he just wants to pull your strings, so he benefits. Who cares?
No, I wasn't raised on a farm. I grew up in a suburb outside of Minneapolis. So, no, farm life is completely out of my radar, many miles outside of where I grew up. Also, I am half Swedish as many Swedes came to Minnesota. My family on both sides are from Europe. I moved to Chicago because my husband got a job in research at a University. He still does research in his own lab and teaches now.

I don't think I have Sciatica because the pain doesn't radiate down my leg. I am feeling much better, and I suspect my problem is over-pronation. I ordered some Vionic Orthaheel shoes-I think that should help. The shoes are cute and don't look like orthotics.

No, my husband doesn't talk to me and shuts down when I've tried to get him to open up. Yes, I'm very upset by the whole situation. I'm even more upset that he led me on for four months, acting like we had a chance to reconcile. I'm going to therapy to help cope. I think this is something only time will heal. I want to have hope for my future, I'm hoping to carve out a new life. I am thinking of moving to the Pacific Northwest when all this is over. Washington state, perhaps. My parents are gone and I don't have much family, so I am pretty free to go anywhere after this. Starting over is scary, though. And I really liked my University, but it is the one my husband teaches at, and I need a clean break from him, which is another reason I want to leave this state.

Yes, my dog is doing well. It took him awhile to adapt to his different surroundings, but he is okay now. What kind of dog do you have?

Are you originally from the States, or did you move here from somewhere else?

I'm glad you have hobbies to engage in when your husband is gone. I wish I could paint. It's a skill I definitely don't have!
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