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Old 14th July 2006, 01:48 AM   #10
Helen
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Re: Wife exposing herself

Duckbreaker,

I would not indulge your wife's fantasies in the way you have been because I think you are making her worse. Instead, as Liz suggested, I would try to get to the bottom of why she suddenly wants to behave in this way and try to get her to understand that what she is doing is potentially dangerous - to her and to your marriage. It is almost as though she is trying to prove to herself and others that she is still an attractive, sexual woman. You mentioned that you have a 20 year old child. It is possible your wife is feelng her years (I am guessing she is close to, if not over, 40) and perhaps she feels like she is almost over the hill? This may be how her mid-life crisis is manifesting itself.

Your wife needs to understand that some fantasy is good but the way she wants to manifest them isn't. Quite aside from you and upsetting social sensibilities, she has 4 children to think about. Imagine the embarrassment to them if she ever got caught doing these things.

If I were in your shoes I would suggest to your wife that she see a psychiatrist to try to get to the bottom of why she is behaving in this way. Yes, you know how exposing herself makes her feel. What you don't understand is why she feels the need to do it. What is driving this behaviour all of a sudden? In the meantime, I would dissuade her from the midnight car rides/putting on an exhibition for the milkman and if she insists on going, I would resist your impulse to sleep with her afterwards. Doing this is validating her actions and will only strengthen her urges.

Your instincts regarding the milkman are spot on. One day he may well take the bait - I have no doubt your wife will get bolder because your excursions are increasing her confidence - and by the time she does this it will be too late to repair things. Given your discomfort with things so far, your marriage is bound to come apart at the seams if this happens. Your wife needs to understand why this is not a good idea - for your sake and the kids.


Helen

PS: I agree with Liz. In your first post you put a lot of graphic detail. I would edit it to remove the detailed descriptions of what your wife was doing as I felt uncomfortable reading your post.
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