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Old 2nd April 2013, 07:23 PM   #9
freddie
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 139
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Raymond View Post
Although we are responsible for our actions as she is as well I can see that she has severe incapacities from her childhood. To be beaten with a belt and made to kneel on grain is really over the top. If she uses this as an excuse for her behaviour then there won't be a way forward. If she realises she needs healing then there is. I think your use of demons could be relevant here. Some bad backgrounds can haunt you for years. I don't think it is just a matter of being beaten with a belt. There was obvious cruelty going on.

You say that she has now found religion. That could be helpful so long as it is not a cult. It depends. Do you know what it is?

I really hope you get through with this one. I think she really needs you but doesn't realise it.
The religion is nothing weird, it's only the local catholic church. I approve of it, I said to her: "go and ask god to forgive you for what you have done and ask him not to let you do it again, instead of asking him to help you get what you want". It think it got to her conscience.

She has never excused herself for her behaviour with her difficult childhood; in fact she is unaware of the connection, I am the one who found it. I am the one that realises she could not bond with her daughters properly as she is now somewhat behaving, like her mother, with her own daughters (but without the physical cruelty). That is what she needs to resolve in therapy.

I am -fairly- confident that if she goes to therapy and we go to marriage counselling, I can get back the lovely girl I married 10 years ago.

Thanks for your support

Last edited by freddie; 2nd April 2013 at 07:29 PM.
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