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Old 2nd April 2014, 03:45 PM   #1
heartbroken7
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 4
He has already left the marriage

I dont even know where to begin, I have been married for for 4 years. Over the past year the arguments are non stop in fact they are getting worst. After we got married my husband stopped being affectionate.He started treating me as if I do not exist. I have tried to talk to him to ask what has changed and he has pretty much told me that he doesnt see the need to do what he was doing before he married me. I tried to understand where he was coming from but at the same time I tried to point out to him that because of what he was doing is the reason I married him.
Well, things have gotten severe, he still hasnt changed or tried to make things better, he has become so cold hearted towards me I am just in shock as to why he would marry me and then pretty much leave the marriage.
Since the last 4 months we have not been sexually active at all. Ive spoken to him about it and he just completely belittle the situation. It may come off as petty, but I dont want to be in an affectionless, sexless marriage. I feel as though I mean nothing to him. He makes financial decisions without me even knowing, when I do find out it wasnt even a big deal to begin with as to why he couldnt tell me, but I just cannot understand why he would do things and not include me its like we are roomates.
Well about 3 weeks ago, I brought up the topic again and I suggested we do date nights at least. He is going to look at me and tell me he feels trapped and he is stressed so he doesnt want me to bother him. Eventually the situation got to a point where I just broke down for the first time and I started yelling at him trying to find out why would he marry me if he didnt want to go the full mile.He then tried to walk out of the house, I grabbed him, because I just wanted him to listen, then He punched me on my hand, to let him go, I turned around and slapped him in his face for putting his hands on me.
I wasnt hurt but out of frustration I hit him. I know I was wrong I apologized but he didnt apologize for hitting me ..He turned the situation into me being aggressive and abusive. Now he has completely given me the silent treatment and honestly all I want is for my husband to want me. I just feel like the flame died out too soon, I ignored it for a little bit because at first we were having financial problems, but now I feel like things have gotten worst and he just wants to ignore me and do him, go out with his friends all the time and come in early mornings and not having to think about going home to his wife. This all started since I brought up the topic of date nights, normally he would be home sleeping or watching tv.

Well, now he wants a divorce because I hit him, and he is stating that the way he felt, he would have hurt me really badly so he wants to leave before we physically hurt each other. Its just crazy how for a year I have been trying to reach out to him to fix an issue and now that it escalated he is quick to run out. I feel like he just wanted out from the day he stopped being affectionate. I dont think he is cheating. WE lost alot of money at the beginning of the marriage and he is still stressing about it, but at the end of the day he shouldnt take it out on me. I dont know if I should seek professional help or just give him what he wants.. I am really confused at this point... Ive tried to not be nagging and to give it time but a year ??!! I think Ive been patient enough for him to try to improve, It really would suck to know that because of money our relationship failed.
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