Thread: Baronness
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Old 19th August 2011, 06:09 PM   #21
Posts: n/a
Re: Husband doesn't want sex


I think you have to break the problems in the marriage into categories. You have a man who doesn't communicate and keeps secrets that concern both of you. You don't know how much money he has coming in as he has a sepate PO box!

You can get a statement from social security on his entitlement income. You write in his name with date of birth, social security number in request a statement of earnings which records his total income year by year, including his present income. Do you file taxes as "married, filing jointly" and sign a return, as his gross earning figure is there. Are you legally married? All these vague areas and the separate activities, including his paranoia down to separate laundry, makes me wonder! No doubt about it , you selected a strange duck! This clearly was not a marriage made in heaven. It should be no surprise that it unravels when you are sober and he has lost his bar buddy (you.) As you observed that sober, he is a dud, than there was not a good beginning for your relationship later.

If you were married 10 years, then you would be entitled to claim part of his SS as part of marital property, depending on your state laws. You get yours or half of his, not both. Generally, men pay in better income so have more credit there. Your marriage has ceased to work, as you seem to live in a train wreck of unhappiness around his secrets and moods. That is similar to alcohol deterioration or personality defects that his other wives found as well. You need serious intervention but it seems much of this is based on financial concerns and th eloss of employment. You both need to have part in the decision making about money issues.
I think you have to confront TV..and talk through some of the problems.

I would get some answers on his income. You have lived in a marriage that doesn't resemble how couples should live. No wonder you are insecure, unhappy, and worry about the future. Work on your disability claim and plan for your future. You can do well with a side income with your crafts but you need a sewing machine and skills. This will tide you over until there are better job possibilities. Listen, there is not a lot of work out there for you. He stands a better chance to work some sideline jobs. He wastes time working free when he has time and he could do something that pays. He doesn't get it that he has to change that plan. Both of you have to work through the money concerns.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 20th August 2011 at 02:22 AM.