View Single Post
Old 11th March 2015, 05:07 PM   #10
defeated
Registered User
 
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 54
Re: What if my husband is a narcisist...Can he be cured???

No, my husband won't admit or even entertain the idea that he has any form of depression or anger issues at all, or that his past, or grieving could be having any impact on him. He is saying that the problem is between 'us' and I need to face up to the fact that it's my perception of his behavioiur that is causing the problems.
He says that when I've voiced upset over things that he's done, it is because i view him in such a negative way and THAT is the problem. I genuinely in my heart don't feel this is true.
When he chooses to befriend a predatory woman (who i mentioned in my first post, who nearly lost him his job) and decided to continue the friendship even though I was upset about it, I see this as a selfish act and him thinking of himself or her and putting them before me and I want to be his priority as he is mine.
When he talks about going on a fishing trip to Mexico for the second time in a few months, on his own with a friend and leaving his wife and small children, I take this as upsetting, whereas he sees it as me choosing to look negatively on him simply doing something he enjoys.
He is very hostile and angry and I have just tried to talk to him again, but he is just saying that i'm the one who wants to end it and so i can think about how we part and saying things like 'so, are you going to put the market while i'm away'.
He won't face the fact he has issues and is just saying it's a problem with 'us' and not him and he won't seek help or even entertain the idea it's predominantly his issues that are causing such a huge distance between us.
I am stunned and feel shattered by what's happening. But know it can't carry on as it has, but was so hopeful that this would make him sit up and get help for some deep rooted issues which I know he has.
I feel completely wretched and I'm doubting myself.
I have spoken to my sisters who both think I have done/am doing all i can to keep our family together, although ofcourse they are going to be biassed.
defeated is offline   Reply With Quote