anychanceatall?

Another of my sisters who I am very close with told me. She has known for awhile and felt guilty about keeping it from me. Apparently 'everyone' knows in my close family. (Mum, Aunty and other sisters and their partners) I feel like an idiot, everyone's dicussing this behind my back. Also for the judgements I made in choosing a husband and my childrens father. Yet I still cannot make a definative decision about leaving. I am currently away with my children avoiding all contact with them all trying my darndest to get my head straight. Im no closer than i was 3days ago just more depressed and angry.