View Single Post
Old 25th June 2013, 12:00 AM   #2
Registered User
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Marriage of Obligation vs Happiness

Do you want to hear what is right or what YOU want us to say? if speaking the truth is 'throwing stones' as you put it then so be it.God is clearly trying to get through to you. I have seen so many families destroyed because of cheating, many in my own family, and its horrible, tragic and messy. There are may long term consequences. In the Bible it says that God HATES it when men put away their wives for another woman. Now hate is very strong word, and He hates what you are wanting to do, and He is trying to stop you taking this disastrous step.

It maybe true that you shouldn't have married your wife, but you did. You made promises to her before God, and you have no reason to end the marriage. The only reason that we as Christians have for divorce is if our spouse commits sexual immorality. Well you have sadly done that, so she could end the marriage(does she know?) but you have no reason to.

I have no respect at all for women who cheat with other people husbands, so I totally question this woman's morals and integrity. She knows you are married, and she even knows you have a small child and yet STILL she went ahead and committed adultery with you and carried on doing so. How incredibly cruel, mean and totally selfish of her.
Do you realise how serious adultery is in Gods eyes? No good EVER comes of it. I only hope that she isn't a believer acting this way, but remember that God also makes it clear that we are not to be with non believers.
God can not bless such a relationship, and few marriages that start with adultery last for obvious reasons. The enemy is using this woman to tempt you and to try and destroy another Christian family, and you are falling for it. I have no idea how you can lie and deceive and cheat for so long. How can you live with yourself?

So you need to end the relationship for good. No more contact ever. Tell her that you should never have allowed this relationship to start because you are married with a child, and that you cannot see her again..You have responsibilities to your wife and child and you need to be faithful from now on.

You also need to confess to your wife, and to God, for breaking your marriage vows, and get on with being the best husband and dad that you can. You will have to work hard to rebuild the shattered trust but that's what happens when you cheat.

You dont say where you met this lady but if it is at work, then you need to look for another job and get away from her. If it is somewhere else, you need to stay away from there. You are not free to be with this lady, you are married. You are committed to your wife and you need to focus on her and your child. Act as if you love and adore her and the feelings should follow. Treat her like a queen. Think of her and her feelings, and not yourself. If you keep allowing your self to be discontent and resentful you will never be happy. Love is NOT all about feelings.

Go and see your pastor or another trusted Christian man in your church and ask for his support and prayers and accountability as you end the relationship and work on the marriage. Meet with him regularly for support and help over the coming weeks and months, as you end the relationship. Some good marriage counselling together may well help.

You seem to think that being with this lady is the answer to all your problems. Its not. If she can act this way once she can do it again to you. You will be going against what God says and what is right. You know you are. It will only lead to more pain for all involved, especially your son, and eventually for you and the OW as well. There are always bad consequences for our sinful actions.

Last edited by chosen; 25th June 2013 at 12:30 AM.
chosen is offline   Reply With Quote