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Old 20th April 2013, 04:58 PM   #182
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Thank you and yes I agree in that even if a spouse has this disorder, its doesnt thelp to know as they are still hell bent on ruining your life and the lives of your children whether they have it or not Also it seems there really isnt a cure as such, especially if the one who has it wont see that anything is wrong, and blames everything on everyone else.

It seems to me that in the last few years it crops up so much, especially in' American talk' I find, its rarely mentioned in the UK and I have never ever heard of anyone who was given this name for their symptoms. However I have known some very difficult people and as you say many can have some of the symptoms without it ever being called anything specific, and most people would call it selfishness, emotional immaturity or some such thing.

AS you say many many have character traits that are those of such a condition, but when should we be held responsible for our own behaviour? A member of my husbands family(now dead) was a very very difficult person, could be very selfish, bitter, self centered, resentful, and caused so much trouble in the family, tried to break up her sons marriages etc, and YET, if she HAD to, she could control her bahaviour IF she thought it was in her OWN interest. One of her daughters in law once told her that unless she stopped doing what she was doing, she and the ladies son were going to move away. Guess what, she immediatly stopped being so awful. She still acted badly towards her at times, but nothing like the extent she was.

It seems as if, if our bad behaviour has a name, we therefore cant help it, just like we cant help getting cancer or the flu. Wheras the rest of us are supposed to be able to control any selfishness or other not so good character traits, an act properly and nicely and kindly. Do you see what I am trying to say?
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