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Old 1st February 2012, 08:56 AM   #4
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 22
Re: brink of seperation

hi forever,
thanks for your reply - and for sharing and the encouragement. im glad you got through your hard times.
it is sometimes not always big issues we fight about - it is often small things that just escalate. its the way we speak to each other. i will get annoyed with the way he speaks to me (as he comes across as very angry etc) and he will say i am too sensitive and then it will escalate from there. another thing is our different routines and schedules. he has a very busy schedule at times and i am also minding the baby all the time, he doesn't understand that sometimes i need a break away from it - just to get a bath or to get out of the house, and we argue about who is the most run down - then he will want me to go out when i am too tired etc. its about planning - a lot of arguments are when we sit with our diaries and try to plan schedules.
i think he is more likely not to listen to me most of the time, it takes him a long time to come round to anything i suggest. an example is a very fancy carpet we have and is totally white hard to clean and unsuitable for a baby and it has taken him 4 months to agree that we need to put it in the loft for now, before it was his way, he seems quite controlling that way. i will always listen to him, but maybe not right at that moment. sometimes i need some time out if we are heavily arguing and things are getting upsetting, then i say now is not the right time and he will not respect that, and thats where things realy fall apart.
there were a few fights before we married as we were under a lot of stress then, they really kicked off from the honeymoon. yes there are swearing threats blame all that. we are 29.
he is definately a believer - he has an active faith in God - he doesn't read the bible any more really as he doesn't have time but he prays a lot, when we have bad fights sometimes he will just pray for us when things have calmed down and we are at our wits end. he always has love for me and forgiveness - i am the one who cannot just forgive and forget. i forgive but i cannot just get up and get on as if nothing has happened where he seems to be able to. thanks for listening. we are going to counselling today. i am just so tired of it all. i have a headache!
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