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Search: Posts Made By: jools
Forum: Marriage Help 11th January 2011, 09:55 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 6,094
Posted By jools
Re: 18 months after H affair what now?

I really feel for you as I read this. Everything that Chosen has said makes perfect sense, regarding the lack of repentance and the inability to explain why it happened. Just one other thing that...
Forum: Marriage Help 26th October 2010, 11:15 PM
Replies: 2
Views: 3,751
Posted By jools
Re: Loveless marriage without children

My opinion is that you've already wasted 5 years of yours and her time. I don't think you can "learn" to love someone - especially when you don't even "like" them. The most dishonourable thing to...
Forum: Marriage Help 26th October 2010, 11:09 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 8,422
Posted By jools
Re: My husband had a affair!!

Oh God, Rainbow. There is no easy answer here. I've been through something similar, so I know how you feel. 39 years! That's awful! There's no easy answer because what you want is something you...
Forum: Marriage Help 20th October 2010, 07:51 PM
Replies: 11
Views: 14,012
Posted By jools
Re: My Paranoid theory was right, wife was cheating

Sorry for what's happened pms - but for anyone reading this -- "paranoia" is merely your instincts screaming at you that something's wrong. If you feel like something is wrong and get the urge to...
Forum: Marriage Help 17th October 2010, 09:53 PM
Replies: 8
Views: 5,867
Posted By jools
Re: Need a pick me up..

Hi Hopefull - and hi Helen! Helen and I were going through our dark days together on here 3 years ago - actually it was 4 years ago! I'd just like to echo what Helen said. I've been with someone...
Forum: Marriage Help 23rd September 2010, 07:24 PM
Replies: 49
Views: 19,073
Posted By jools
Forum: Marriage Help 22nd September 2010, 10:33 PM
Replies: 49
Views: 19,073
Posted By jools
Re: I need help, i don't know if i am in the right place

Hi Gtyrel
Are you aware of how apologetic you are to everyone? You began by apologising to me and then blamed yourself for everything he's done. So I think you need to stop blaming yourself for...
Forum: Marriage Help 22nd September 2010, 09:51 PM
Replies: 49
Views: 19,073
Posted By jools
Re: I need help, i don't know if i am in the right place

I'm not surprised you're in a state! Without knowing more about you and your relationship though it's impossible to guess what's happened here? Just a few questions here to help shed light on the...
Forum: Marriage Help 28th March 2010, 08:31 PM
Replies: 13
Views: 4,980
Posted By jools
Re: Another loveless pair :-)

Hi Stevie
Your defensiveness and worry that people on here would have a go at you just suggests that you're a nice guy. You and your wife made the right choices and I can understand your...
Forum: Marriage Help 6th March 2010, 06:34 PM
Replies: 23
Views: 14,662
Posted By jools
Re: my husband left me with no warning

Hi bhan001

Sorry for the horrible place where you currently find yourself. You will feel gradually better over time. When I was going through my painful breakup 4 years ago I couldn't understand...
Forum: Marriage Help 2nd January 2010, 07:30 PM
Replies: 27
Views: 9,906
Posted By jools
Re: EXH taking girlfriend to sons wedding

Hi JB
This is one that I just HAD to reply to. I also have strong feelings about this. Your H's OW has no right being there. You gave birth to your son and raised him along with your ex. You are...
Forum: Marriage Help 24th October 2009, 06:13 PM
Replies: 63
Views: 23,433
Posted By jools
Re: What is the right thing to do for my wife right now?

The tone of your thread is very "controlled" and lacking in things like how much you "love" your wife --- did you use that word? The whole thing just feels cold and emotionless. Just an...
Forum: Marriage Help 12th October 2009, 05:50 PM
Replies: 51
Views: 20,375
Posted By jools
Re: just found out husband is having an affair need help

Hi Coolircrumble
I don't come on here much as I'm a survivor from 3 years ago. I pushed my H out when I discovered his "special friend". The reason I wanted to respond to you is that my two...
Forum: Marriage Help 11th September 2009, 09:27 PM
Replies: 20
Views: 7,510
Posted By jools
Re: i feel so awful,need help..

I suppose the emotional answer is "because you love him" - and that's probably true. I've been through what you're experiencing now (as have most people on this site). A love that is built up over...
Forum: Marriage Help 1st September 2009, 11:12 PM
Replies: 61
Views: 14,326
Posted By jools
Re: Please help me sort this

Reading this brings back memories of what happened to me 3 years ago - except it wasn't a good friend of mine (though I knew her). I made the mistake of confronting him with the phone bills - of...
Forum: Marriage Help 30th August 2009, 04:26 PM
Replies: 15
Views: 7,339
Posted By jools
Re: Feeling Low!

Hi Ladies
I just wanted to lend some words of support. I was where you are now 3 years ago. This site was a godsend. One thing I used to do (which we all do) is try to analyse things that he said...
Forum: Marriage Help 27th August 2009, 04:14 PM
Replies: 171
Views: 69,029
Posted By jools
Re: I am left devastated because he has left

I just want to say "Well don't let him bring you down and dictate to you!" But I know you must still be pretty vulnerable as this only happened in May. Refuse to allow him to tie you to dates and...
Forum: Marriage Help 27th August 2009, 04:04 PM
Replies: 48
Views: 142,603
Posted By jools
Re: Those aren't fighting words, dear - READ THIS

I agree with Raymond about the adultery. This approach might indeed work where adultery is not part of the equation; unfortunately, when this "speech" is made there is usually someone else involved...
Forum: Marriage Help 30th May 2009, 07:27 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 10,806
Posted By jools
Re: Sexless Marriage falling to pieces.....

Oops! I knew it would be contentious and that's why I took a deep breath before starting. Maybe that's why it isn't generally spoken aloud (in mixed company). My friends do accuse me of saying what...
Forum: Marriage Help 30th May 2009, 02:45 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 10,806
Posted By jools
Re: Sexless Marriage falling to pieces.....

Hi Raymond
I didn't mean to say that ALL married women go off sex. I know that's not the case. I just think that keeping sexual feelings alive is more usual in men. I'm sure your wife does enjoy...
Forum: Marriage Help 27th May 2009, 03:38 PM
Replies: 18
Views: 10,806
Posted By jools
Re: Sexless Marriage falling to pieces.....

Hi Marky
Just happened to look in and saw your post. I noticed that all of the respondents so far are male so I thought I'd just add a female perspective on this. While I think that all of the...
Forum: Marriage Help 6th May 2009, 10:09 PM
Replies: 28
Views: 11,494
Posted By jools
Re: I love you but I'm not in love with you

I believe that! What I was trying to say was that these other people can come along at times when our partners might have niggles about things in the marriage or just our lives at that time. And...
Forum: Marriage Help 6th May 2009, 07:05 PM
Replies: 28
Views: 11,494
Posted By jools
Re: I love you but I'm not in love with you

Oh Goldenboy - I'm so sorry. As soon as I saw the title of your thread I just knew that there'd be someone new on the scene. To be honest, it's the ONLY reason that wives or husbands ever make this...
Forum: Marriage Help 22nd April 2009, 07:09 PM
Replies: 83
Views: 23,118
Posted By jools
Re: counsellor cancelled

Hi JWD
If it's any consolation, I've been separated nearly 3 years and I still occasionally do what you're doing now. But it's rare that it happens. I told my friend yesterday that I have an urge...
Forum: Marriage Help 12th April 2009, 02:49 PM
Replies: 52
Views: 13,072
Posted By jools
Re: Jahdog

Absolutely, JWD! But I think you're being hard on yourself to expect to be able to do that so soon. For me it's nearly 3 years and while I feel the indifference thing quite frequently, I am aware...
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