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Search: Posts Made By: defeated
Forum: Marriage Help 22nd April 2015, 03:36 PM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Re: Don't know how to get through....

Thank you.
I don't know how to cope as I know he has issues from his past which I'm sure are hugely contributing to him being so selfish, angry & difficult.
He seems happy to carry on in this way,...
Forum: Marriage Help 21st April 2015, 11:47 PM
Replies: 790
Views: 457,989
Posted By defeated
Re: Oh no...oh no...

Great you made an appointment with your counsellor..& fantastic your dog is forcing you to get out.
You & Ralf are doing so well & must be kind to yourselves, combine the healing of allowing...
Forum: Marriage Help 21st April 2015, 11:38 PM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Re: Don't know how to get through....

Thank you. It is such a lonely place.
We are seeing the marriage counsellor on Saturday for the first time in about 5/6 weeks.
Your response means so much. Thank you.
Forum: Marriage Help 21st April 2015, 12:10 AM
Replies: 790
Views: 457,989
Posted By defeated
Re: Oh no...oh no...

hi there
i really hope you're ok.
don't forget that this is a grieving process... it would be completely unnatural for you to skip off in to the sunset and be happy... you're world has just been...
Forum: Marriage Help 21st April 2015, 12:00 AM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Re: Don't know how to get through....

hi there
i'm living up to my name at the moment. feeling pretty defeated.
easter didn't go to plan and we just felt disconnected and the black cloud over my husband remained. it's hard when we're...
Forum: Marriage Help 17th April 2015, 12:53 AM
Replies: 18
Views: 72,300
Posted By defeated
Re: I want my husband to have sex with other women

Is this a late April Fools?? If not, then you need some proper psychological help.
Forum: Marriage Help 3rd April 2015, 01:24 AM
Replies: 1,518
Views: 790,019
Posted By defeated
Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread

Briefly read what's going on. You're incredible... you have an amazing way of being really honest and open about how tough it is, but then picking yourself up and doing something about it.

No...
Forum: Marriage Help 3rd April 2015, 01:09 AM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Re: Don't know how to get through....

hi there
sorry for the silence.
yet more confusion and me not understanding what's going on. he seems to be blowing from one extreme to the other.
and after the mother of all arguments we seem...
Forum: Marriage Help 29th March 2015, 10:15 PM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Re: Don't know how to get through....

That was such a kind and thoughtful message. I'm so sorry for you she didn't get through to you, that's really sad. But incredible that you have the introspection you do and you will no doubt be...
Forum: Marriage Help 29th March 2015, 04:08 PM
Replies: 21
Views: 20,616
Posted By defeated
Re: A bad few days

Hi there
Really sorry to hear things are so tricky at the moment. Please read my earlier post in this thread - i take it you have already looked at the link.
You need help... counselling with your...
Forum: Marriage Help 29th March 2015, 02:04 PM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Re: Don't know how to get through....

So, your suggestion is that i put up a wall to his anger and feel unappreciated and unloved and that's how i should accept things. Walking on egg-shells and not cherishing life?
I don't...
Forum: Marriage Help 29th March 2015, 01:01 PM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Re: Don't know how to get through....

I'm sorry about how it's turned out for you, it sounds as though your wife was seeking more adventure and wasn't satisfied with her own planning and so wanted to be with someone that would compliment...
Forum: Marriage Help 29th March 2015, 09:21 AM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Re: Don't know how to get through....

Thank you for your openness about this.
Do you have suggestions of what I should or shouldn't do?? I believe that marriage should be forever & meant every word of my vows,,,but didn't realise it...
Forum: Marriage Help 29th March 2015, 01:16 AM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Re: Don't know how to get through....

I'm starting to feel like that. I'm scared my life might be really sad & unhappy through no fault of my own & I'll spend an eternity waiting for him to change and the lightbulb to switch on about the...
Forum: Marriage Help 29th March 2015, 12:29 AM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Re: Don't know how to get through....

That is so interesting....I've never thought about it in that way.... Can you expand on that.. Why exactly do you think you parted.
Honestly, I am genuinely interested in your perspective. You...
Forum: Marriage Help 28th March 2015, 08:32 PM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Re: Don't know how to get through....

I appreciate what you're saying and definitely value it... but just want to clarify, i am very independent...i have my own interests and meet lots of people/friends alone... i go to the gym and don't...
Forum: Marriage Help 28th March 2015, 06:45 PM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Re: Don't know how to get through....

thanks, good advice and i know you're right... it's easier said than done though. if i make plans without him then he gets really grumpy too and acts like a total arse... and it's hard to keep a...
Forum: Marriage Help 28th March 2015, 04:46 PM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Re: Don't know how to get through....

It's frying my head. I never know where i am and what sort of mood he's going to be in - i'm constantly walking on egg-shells and never know what's going to make him blow up. It's horrible. He can...
Forum: Marriage Help 28th March 2015, 12:24 AM
Replies: 21
Views: 20,616
Posted By defeated
Re: A bad few days

How's it going sambrooklands?
Forum: Marriage Help 28th March 2015, 12:23 AM
Replies: 151
Views: 87,466
Posted By defeated
Thumbs up Re: Need help--I really don't know what to do

Brilliant advice!! LDT, you sound as though you are stronger than you're allowing yourself to think you are!
This is horrible, but I agree, YOU WILL be more than ok. Just allow yourself time to...
Forum: Marriage Help 27th March 2015, 11:30 PM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Re: Don't know how to get through....

I absolutely would let the past go if I could get through to him & he would recognise he's so hostile the whole time.
He came back from his latest work trip yesterday & was really friendly & made us...
Forum: Marriage Help 25th March 2015, 02:19 PM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Re: Don't know how to get through....

Thank you so much. It's so helpful getting your perspective as I agree that there are a number of similarities between our situations.
I have just had a session with the counsellor alone & just have...
Forum: Marriage Help 24th March 2015, 02:42 PM
Replies: 73
Views: 64,304
Posted By defeated
Question Re: Don't know how to get through....

The obligations he's referring to are things like him going out for drinks when our twin boys came home from the hospital, because it had been pre-organised. (this was with good friends who wouldn't...
Forum: Marriage Help 24th March 2015, 02:17 PM
Replies: 21
Views: 20,616
Posted By defeated
Re: A bad few days

I agree with Chosen about the you needing marriage counselling.

Your wife is obviously so wrapped up in your son needing special attention and her own stresses that she's overlooking you........
Forum: Marriage Help 24th March 2015, 09:05 AM
Replies: 790
Views: 457,989
Posted By defeated
Re: Oh no...oh no...

I am so so sorry LDT.... I have been so wrapped up in what's going on with me that I haven't been following what's happening with other people.

The last time I checked you were doing so well, you...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 54

 
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