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-   -   Separation advise (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=9636)

guy123 2nd May 2017 01:07 PM

Separation advise
 
Hi , can anyone please help and advise on the following, my wife and I are recently separated, I am moving out the family house and my wife is staying with our 2 kids, the house is only in my name, she wants me to move out, pay half of house expenses except the bond which she will pay , also wants me to give her half of the tax credits we receive plus also pay child maintenance, is this fair and right. We not getting divorced yet so we not selling house, I feel I'm getting raw deal of having to move out and pay all this money, what is the correct process for this situation.
Thanks

chosen 2nd May 2017 07:29 PM

Re: Separation advise
 
Why are you moving out? Who wants this separation? Was it your house before you married?

guy123 2nd May 2017 09:18 PM

Re: Separation advise
 
I'm moving out as I cheated , she wanted the separation and the house is only in my name as wife wasn't working at the time we took bond and wasn't put on the mortgage

chosen 5th May 2017 06:21 PM

Re: Separation advise
 
Well as you cheated on her I think she has a right to ask you to move out. As for the rest you need to sit down, maybe with a mediator, and work out what is fair. After all, you have to find somewhere to live and will have to pay rent and the bills there. If you are paying the mortgage(is that what the bond is?) and child maintenance, it seems unfair that you have to pay her bills as well.

It all depends on what you each earn, how much a place for you will cost etc. Does she work?

It may be a good idea if you get some legal advise here.

guy123 5th May 2017 07:14 PM

Re: Separation advise
 
Thanks chosen for your advise , we have agreed on splitting the bills, she is paying mortgage , was just trying to understand what she gets from me whilst we are separated.
I know I'm in the wrong as I cheated and accept what will happen but can anyone tell me how to deal with the fact she is sleeping with another guy already,3 months into our seperation , I'm unsure how to react as I cheated first.

chosen 5th May 2017 10:04 PM

Re: Separation advise
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by guy123 (Post 89530)
Thanks chosen for your advise , we have agreed on splitting the bills, she is paying mortgage , was just trying to understand what she gets from me whilst we are separated.
I know I'm in the wrong as I cheated and accept what will happen but can anyone tell me how to deal with the fact she is sleeping with another guy already,3 months into our seperation , I'm unsure how to react as I cheated first.

Hmmm well that's really unwise as well, but maybe its a 'revenge affair' which I am told some do to get back at the spouse who cheated. I don't understand that crazy way of thinking, as surely she now is being just as bad as its still adultery.

Do you think that you will ever try and get back together? Does she want to end the marriage?
There is such a thing as a legal separation which you can arrange through solicitors, but not sure what the point of that is. If she isn't going to have you back, why isn't she ending it?

When my husband and I separated, he paid child support but I paid all my own mortgage and all my bills. Even with this he struggled to pay for even a tiny place of his own. If she is working then why should you pay half of the bills? You will be paying for your children already. I do think you need legal advise.

Hanna 29th August 2017 01:03 PM

Re: Separation advise
 
Well as you cheated on her I think she has a right to ask you to move out

triciamint 5th October 2017 02:03 AM

Re: Separation advise
 
If my husband cheated on me, I'd ask him to do the same. I'm sorry but that's just the way it is. Are your kids still young? I wish you could've done something to work things out instead of separating. But since you cheated, you probably don't love her anymore. I agree with chosen, it is best to have a mediator or get legal advice so both of you will know what to pay.

podscaley 20th November 2017 10:34 AM

Re: Separation advise
 
because you cheated on her, I think it's right that she asked you to move out. Are you guys sure about the separation? Is there no way that you can fix the marriage?

Regarding her sleeping with another guy, I think she really doesn't love the guy. She just wanted to show you that she can also do what you did to her

Raymond 5th December 2017 06:13 PM

Re: Separation advise
 
Even so it was a bit drastic.

blendflush 15th May 2018 12:18 PM

Re: Separation advise
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by triciamint (Post 89645)
If my husband cheated on me, I'd ask him to do the same. I'm sorry but that's just the way it is. Are your kids still young? I wish you could've done something to work things out instead of separating. But since you cheated, you probably don't love her anymore. I agree with chosen, it is best to have a mediator or get legal advice so both of you will know what to pay.

Same here, I will do the same. A legal adviser will be advisable to help them with separation.


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