My Husband Wants To Change His Sex?

[Unregistered]

What can I do? 15 years of marriage wasted on a man, who wasn't.

I want an immediate divorce and 'him' out the house. Thank God, there are no children to consider. He says, he still loves me, and wants us to live as sisters, but still stay married!! How could he?

Somebody help, please.

[Kate]

Hi there,

This is an area that I don't know much about. It must have come as a considerable shock to you.

I've had a look out on the web and spotted a couple of web sites that you might find helpful. The Beaumont Society (http://www.beaumontsociety.org.uk/) provides information on the full range of ways individuals want to change their sex in some way. They also have another site (http://members.aol.com/wobsuk/) for supporting spouses and partner's of such people. There is an article here (http://members.aol.com/bmonttrust/Btlflet.htm)

Why not have a look at those sites - there may be something there to help you begin to understand both your husband and your own reactions and hurt.

Do come back here and post again, but you may also want to go and talk to someone you trust, like your doctor, a minister or a counsellor.

With best wishes

Kate

[Leo]

Give it time. I have known of this occuring in other marriages. Several couples have stayed together and have indeed become very happy sisters together. Others, have been unable to cope and had to part. You really need to seek out some professional advice from organizations expert on transgendered issues.

We are all praying for you.

[A Doctor Writes..]

Are you sure your husband is transsexual or just confused?

[Unregistered]

Blimey, you don't get much response on here?? Are there really any members?

[Dave]

Hello Unregistered,

I'm intrigued to know what sort of response you need to your question!

Kate sems to me to have made a number of reasonable suggestions, and Leo has raised the option of just waiting.

As for the question as to whether there are members, have you tried looking through the past postings to see what sort of problems are being routinely handled here?

Or are you just looking for some TLC and attention??

Dave

[Unregistered]

Err.. Actually No, I'm not looking for some 'TLC' as you put it. I think it was a factual statement to state a lot of the thread offerings suffer long gaps between responses, which in turn, suggests, members, or rather, members who contribute, are rather thin on the ground. Moderators, on the other hand, seem in plentiful supply!

I just thought that a site dealing with marital problems would be top heavy with contributors, as the UK is beset by so many divorces.

[Dave]

The gaps between responses probably reflect rather more than a numerical shortage of respondents.

Compared with many BB's on "lighter" subjects we tend to get long, involved, and frequently complex, emotional issues posted here. As a consequence trite and light replies which normally abound are usually not appropriate - we maintain the team of respondents to meet this need. (Incidentally, many "counselling" services (Relate included) are charging to offer less advice than is offered here free!)

Some of the threads actually make fascinating long-term case studies spanning many months of a particular relationship. See for example the post "Wishhewouldcomehome (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?threadid=381)" which has been running sice April 2001, and has been an effective support to 3 women as they have struggled with their marriages.

I guess the bottom line is that it is quality, not quantity that characterises the discussions here.

Having said that, we are always keen for new ideas to increase quantity too - any bright ideas??

Dave