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Lori
12th April 2001, 09:10 AM
I have been divorced for 3 years and am still in love with my ex. I feel I should have never divorced him under the circumstances but "social influences" came in to effect big time. He had an affair, I am now able to call the gal he had an affair with my friend again. He says he "doesn't know" please don't just say forget it and move on because I have tried. This is forever in my heart and in my mind. I need support not somebody to tell my what an awful guy he is I've heard enough of that. Anybody made the same marriage work the second time around?

Liz
13th April 2001, 05:12 AM
I have heard of people who have got back together after a divorce and made things work and I've come across a lot of people who find themselves into divorce proceedings and feel trapped into the process.

All you can do, is to try building a new relationship together, but you must both be committed to trying to make it work. Don't just sweep the past under the carpet either. It needs to be dealt with, so the hurts don't come back to trouble you in the future. It would also be helpful to explore what went wrong last time so you can build a marriage that's stronger this time round. You might find counselling (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/counselling/contactcouns/) helpful there.

If you do both decide to start seeing each other again, take it slowly, and build the friendship before the physical side.

If things begin to shape up well between you, we would recommend Prepare/Enrich (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/weddings/couplequiz1/index2.html) or FOCCUS (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/weddings/marlifeprep/foccus/) inventories as a really useful way of identifying and building from your strengths and weaknesses. Having made mistakes in the past, we're sure that you'll want to do the best you can if you decide to marry a second time around.