Money Trouble

[Unregistered]

I have been married for a year, and it has been hell. A week after we got back from our honey moon my husband quit his job. A couple of week after that I discover he is in thousands of dollars worth of debt. Over the next seven months my husband looks for another job, while I work my butt of and start paying of his debts.

We are now on top of the money situation. However I can't let him carry credit cards or look after his own wages, because he doesn't seem to have control on spending. If the moneys their he will spend it. I have also found out that he has lied to me on a couple of occassions.

Due to all this, I have very little respect for him. I feel like a parent to him, not a wife. The funny thing is he can't see anything wrong with his money spending behaviour. He has told me that if I didn't put my foot down he would go back to having 6 credit cards and living in debt.

[Liz]

How about some straight forward counselling for you both to help you talk about how you view money. If you are willing to go with him, it won't look as if it's just his problem and he might get the message that this is something that you ought to work on together, rather than you having to shoulder all the responsibility.

There are some books and articles on money management here (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/diffpressures/).

I also hear a concern about trust (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/relbasictopic/trust/) surfacing and that is perhaps an issue you also might like to explore together and with a counsellor.

All the best

Liz