PDA

View Full Version : Months later but its getting tough


djh
12th August 2002, 07:33 PM
Hi Kate, I first came to this site in Dec last year after my wife went back to her mums. She admits that she fell into the Walk Away Wife catagory. I followed tons of advice, and even bought The Divorce Remedy book and followed it religiously. Well she came home in March after I took her to Paris for Valentines. Although shes home and I can put my hand on my heart and say I have changed a huge amount ,I do loads around the house now, changed my work from abroad to local and even opened a small Karate club nearby to further commit me to staying home. The thing is I'm begining to feel a bit resentful of the whole thing now. I think I'm getting slowly depressed by it all. We sleep in the same bed together but she has no interest in loving at all. We've not been intimate at all and I do mean not once since Nov 2001.Dont get me wrong I'd never be too pushy but my 31 year old hormones are screaming at me to just throw the towel in and find someone else for a quick one. I love Rach so much but I'm feeling an over whelming frustration and if theres any advice for or against just leaving for good I,ve come here for your council once again. There is no-one else involved.

Kate
12th August 2002, 11:52 PM
Hi again,

Well it's some good news and some disappointment...

How are things on the communication front? Are you in a place to tell her that you are really missing the physical side of your marriage and how does she really feel about things? What would help her to relax physically with you? How can you show her tenderness and affirmation and affection without it seeming too pushy?

I guess you are longing for that opportunity to express your love for her in a way that is very real for you. You are also being very loving by not pushing things with her. I don't believe you really want to leave her or give up, or just have a few moments of physical relief and ego boost with someone else.

You still have all that's needed to make this marriage work! You've shown your commitment by working at things and changing your behaviour. I'm sure you're in it for the long term, hang on in there.

Best wishes

Kate