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View Full Version : other woman pregnant


Unregistered
24th July 2002, 09:36 AM
i've been married for 7 years. our marriage was a great one (at least, that was what i thought). my husband just confessed to me that he had an affair. with an office co worker for the last 1 1/2 years. they started having sex 1/2 year ago.

my whole world came crushing down the moment he confessed to me. i have never felt so dissapointed , angry , devastated and so much pain before. been crying my heart out for the past 2 weeks but not able to think and solve our problems.

he says he still loves me and want this marriage to work out. i love him very much that i am willing to forgive him and start over again. however , the problem now lies in the other woman. she is now pregnant with his child (2 months).

we both know that the child is innocent and we adults are responsible. we want a solution/option that is in the best interest of the child but can't seem to agree or compromise.

i am very keen and stick to my principle of a marriage can only consist of a man and a woman. no two women in a home. i definately cannot accept the other woman. i am even willing to adopt her child as she is still single. however she insist on having to keep the child to herself and still hoping to continue this affair with my husband. how can i allow this to go on ? this is impossible. i even told my husband , it is either me or her. my husband is a responsible man and he wants the best for both of us and the child but he can't seem to think of a good solution.

would appreciate anyone out there with similar situation , please advise or suggest options available.

thank you.

Unregistered
6th August 2002, 08:56 PM
AS A STEPPARENT MYSELF, I CAN ASSURE YOU, THERE IS NOTHING MORE INTIMIDATING THAT THE "BOND" A MAN HAS W/THE MOTHER OF HIS CHILD. HOWEVER, IF YOU TRULY LOVE YOUR HUSBAND & YOU TRULY BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN LEARN TO TRUST HIM: FIRST, I ADVISE YOU TO SEEK COUNSELING (FOR YOURSELF) YOU'RE GOING TO NEED THE SUPPORT. SECOND, I ADVISE YOU TO MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS INNOCENT. THEN, YOU NEED TO FORGIVE & FOCUS ON BEING A GREAT STEPMOM. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK -- YOU'LL BE IN MY PRAYERS.

Unregistered
14th August 2002, 04:30 PM
My heart goes out to you and I can only imagine what you must be going through.
I have only been married 10months and though the going has been as bumpy as it was when we were still dating, the reality that my husband might have an affair has been firmly pushed to the back of my mind.
Your letter has brought back the fact that it might happen and has shaken my faith in the marriage establishment.
As concerns your husband and this other woman, all I can contribute is that you need to get involved to make him go off that woman.
I am sure the woman did this on purpose to lurr your husband away, do not give her the satisfaction.
First pray for guidance and for the strength to carry on
Secondly, since your husband does not have any bright ideas as to how to resolve the issue, take over.
Make sure he never goes to see the child in your absence. If he wants to shop for the child, go with him. If he wants to take the child out for the day, be there.
Once the other woman sees that you are showing a united front, you are not maltreating her child, and that your husband has no intention of leaving you for her, she will soon find someone else to bury her claws into. But trust me your husband will be surprised at your positive attitude and gradually come round to involving you in his other child's life, but being careful to avoid the child's mum.
Goodluck and God bless you.