pressure

[Becky]

We've been married for 22 yrs., and dated for 4. We've always been soul mates, even through tough times. Deeply in love. This past year has been tough, a child with cancer, my husband had a massive heartattack, and I am recovering from an auto accident. With in this time. With in this time we have gone into debt. The stress of all of this has taken it's tole. Our marriage has suffered, it feels like it's to wounded to be repaired. The stress has stifled feelings of love and understanding. We seem to have lost our selves, smothering in anger, pain, and hopelessness. I know that deep down the love is there. It was vibrant before this spiral began. What can I do, besides praying, to hush the tension, and ease the pain, and sweep the ashes from our love.

[Dave]

Dear Becky,

Your love for each other is just so clear in what you have written - the last 26 years have laid some deep strong foundations - how else could you conceivably have coped with all that life has thrown at you in the past 12 months. My heart was really touched by your cry for help.

I'm not usually so direct, but your story just seems to me to cry out for an enrichment weekend. Take a look at Marriage Encounter (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/services/meang/), or any of the organisations listed under Promoting Marriage (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/services/promomar/).

You spoke of "the ashes of your love"... I'd like to challenge you that perhaps they're not ashes, but embers; embers from a fire that you know has burned hot and long for both of you. Right now it needs some air, perhaps some more fuel, and just gently stirring - that is what a weekend could do for you.

I know that Marriage Encounter offers their weekends as a gift - there is no charge other than the £10 initial booking fee so your pressures of money need not be a barrier. Many of the other organisations can offer similar help.

Becky, hang in there - you've faced some of the toughest challenges life can throw at anyone, and haven't given up - take the space to breathe fresh life into the glowing embers of your love - the brightest blaze has yet to come.

[This message has been edited by Dave (edited 03 February 2001).]

[This message has been edited by Dave (edited 03 February 2001).]