infedelity

[Unregistered]

Help! I just found out that my husband is having an affair with an employee of his. He has denied it fervently but there is just way too much evidence. I found her phone number on his cell phone and confronted him, which he just became enraged that I even discovered it. He won't discuss it with me at all but he knows that I know all about her and where they have been etc. He told me that there is nothing there, which I said I could handle it if it were just a fling and not a relationship. He said there were no feelings for her. I noticed on his cell phone this morning that he had called her last night while we were at dinner with friends. Should I confront her?

[r_brindley]

Confronting her could work wither in your favour or against depending on if you have previously known this woman and how long your husband has been involved with her.

My advice is to attempt to talk to your husband in a calm manner first and tell him that the emotional effect this affair is having on you, tell him what your wishes are regarding the affair and that in order for your marraige to survive you need him to cease this affair and seek marraige counselling with you in order to repair the damage that the affair has done. tell him that you are considering confronting the other woman and guge his reaction to this.

If he is not forthcoming with the information you feel that you need or he is not willing to talk to you or quit seeing this other woman then you perhaps should consider confronting her - but do this in a public place so as to create nuetral territory.

Calmly telling her that you are aware of the affair and that you would appreciate it if she discontinued seeing your husband may or may not be the key to getting her to back off - it depends on a number of things - like if you have know her previously as a friend or how long this affair has been going on.

If she is not receptive to what you are saying then perhaps it is best to distance yourself from both of them so as to let him know that he cannot have his cake and eat it too.

kind regards

R*B