PDA

View Full Version : Forgiveness


Dreamer
20th June 2002, 09:11 PM
My husband and I are having trouble learning to forgive and comunicate with eachother. I have caused a lot of pain in my husband and like he says "forgiveness I have given over and over and over for the same thing". He says he has no more forgiveness for me. I have done a few things over and over. Unfortunatly, like he says, now that his feet are out the door I am willing and doing something about the things that have causes him not to trust me.

I guess my question is, how do you forgive someone who has done the same thing over and over again-or do you just walk away even when the person whom has broken you trust is starting to do something so they dont do it again? How do you learn to trust in the areas that the trust has been broken again and again?

I know I cant stop my husband from leaving, but if there is any help I would like to try. He doesnt want counseling for the above reasons, over and over...... I would like to seek help and I am doing that in a few area's, other's are a little more difficult. I appoligize for no details, Im a little nervous and scared.

I dont want to loose my husband or my marriage, if you have any advice I would greatly appreciate it.

Dave
22nd June 2002, 07:18 PM
Hi Dreamer.

The simple answer to your question is that Forgiveness is simply a decision you make - forgiveness means deciding not to count the cost or the pain of someone else's actions - to just let it go - it's as simple, and as hard, as that!!

Letting go on something isn't usually easy - but it's the only route to heaing. If you constantly go through a cyscle of "you make me mad/hurt/afraid or whatever when you do that..." we are actually denying our own ability to decide not to react to these feelings.

I suggest you take a look at the section on Forgveness (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/diffhurtforg/) on the site as ther are several good articles ther.

Dave