how do I resolve my insecurities?

[lorristo]

I have been married for 6 months to a wonderful man. He is honest and loyal and trustworthy. I trust him completely. I experience feelings of inadequacy if we are in the presence of an attractive woman. I am way above average looks-wise, but I feel I am being compared or disrespected if my husband notices another woman. I am not talking about ogling, which he doesn't, just a glance is all it takes to hurt me. I know this is absurd and unreasonable. My father left when I was 6. There was never another father figure for me. I also had a 12 year marraige end after my previous husband got involved in drugs and pornography. This was devastating for me. I trusted him and he destroyed our marraige and our finances. The porn thing also made me feel very inadequate as a woman. We had a very active sex life. It made me feel like something was wrong with me if he needed this other stuff. How do I get over these feelings? My husband can tell when I get upset and feels like I don't trust him. I assure him that's not the case, but I know these episodes have got to be damaging to our relationship. HELP!

[Dreamer]

I too have these issues. I have been married 6 months but we have been living together for 4 1/2 year. It is very hard for me because my husband doesnt just glance he talks to them also, as well as, he has a lot of female friend, that he goes out with. It is very difficult and unfortunatly, it has put a major strain on my marriage. He wants to seperate.

My self-esteem is very low and I am extremly insecure. I am also looking for way or anything for that matter to help me get past all this. Most of the time I do trust him, but it is very difficult because I have been cheated on in my past. So things that he does sometimes, reminds me & makes me think "thats how it happend the last time"(it was with another man-that had the affair (s) ).

I feel ashamed a lot of the time, but some of the time-most, I am angry that I feel this way and I make his life miserable when he talks to women, especially when he is around his female friends. I am affraid that I will never get past this, and that I will never be secure enough in myself to trust him. I want to be able to trust him with other women-jees, even saying that send my stomic in a panic.

Hopefully there is hope out there for both of us.