what am i doing wrong???

[Worried Wife 81]

My husband is very sexually selfish. From the beginning of our relationship we had intercourse about once a week, which was a big change from what I had been used to. My partner told me he had, had 3 times as many partners as I had. Through the course of the relationship we would go up to two months with out sex but he always expected me to pleasure him orally. I then found out that he has a problem ejaculating and admitted never having ejaculated during intercourse before. (He always does orally, but it can take some time.) After doing some research I found this condition was called retarded ejaculation. And begged him to see a doctor which he didn’t do. Since we’ve got married the intercourse is once a month we have talked about having children which was his idea more than mine, although not having sex and not ejaculating when we do have intercourse is not going to help the process of baby making.
He is very private about the subject and when we talk about it he gets angry, I convinced him to see a doctor. Who suggested intercourse 3 times a week for 6 months and the problem should correct itself. However in the last 6 weeks we have had intercourse 3 times of which he is silent all the way through he does not kiss or caress me in anyway and then expects me to pleasure him orally after while he is still silent.
I understand that he may feel bad and is a proud man but im not sure how much I can put up with. I love him so much and want to have children with him but do not understand his behaviour; I know he loves me deeply as everything else is great between us. What should I do the whole situation is making me miserable???????????

[Raymond]

May I ask if he is using pornography?

Apart from that there could be a problem of soul ties with all these previous partners that can affect the present. In time this may right itself but does need faithfulness from you both to each other and no one else.

Raymond

[Worried Wife 81]

I know in the past he has watch pornography but we have discussed it and he promised not to do it again although i cant be sure he won't. I honestly dont think he has the opportunity to as we go to work and come home at the same time. and go to bed at the same time most nights.

[Raymond]

I only asked because some people develop a taste for things they see in pornography and then cannot function in the give and take or a normal sexual relationship.

I can only say that I think there is something odd about his behaviour that belies an illicit past. If he is honestly staying clean from pornography and is being faithful only to you including sexually these things can ease off long term, but it needs effort from him in being able to meet your needs as well.

Raymond

[Worried Wife 81]

Thanks, i intend on taking to him in detail about it soon, i know his reaction will be defensive and he usually clams up but i need to tell him how i feel.

[Raymond]

You should express this WW. Your first diagnosis of his being selfish sexually sounds pretty accurate. It must always be a shared thing or it's worth nothing.

Raymond

[Worried Wife 81]

I have spoken to him about it several times and he promises to change but it does not last long i fear taking to him about it because he feel inadiquite

[Raymond]

He needs to be set free from something WW. The only one I know who can do that is Jesus. Would he be willling for that? It would mean coming to the light. There are places in the UK where he can get help but it starts with being willing to give his life to christ and getting right with God.

Pretty drastic eh?

Raymond