my husband is obssessed with other women!

[monsters]

I am newly married .....not quite 2 months...my husband chases every woman he sees! he say to me its my imagination.........he not only looks but also stares and will even try to folow the girl around a store for example. If he finds a woman he is realysmiten with he is beside himself and we have to go back to this store spending excess time there ....like he hopes to run into her there.He also makes jokes about alot of women we know andasI how he is sooooo good looking and could have any woman he chooses....but only wants me...I am to the point I dread to go out in public with him ...I am afraid this may the first signs of infidelity.Am I right?

[Dave]

Hi Shirley,

If a man is constantly seeking to be noticed by other women, it's usually a sign that he is actually rather insecure - he craves attention to re-assure himself that he is desirable and "manly". There may be several reasons including possibly something in his past.

Reading between the lines of your posting, I guess that things must have changed when you married.

Getting married may be affecting his behaviour - in particular he may either judge that he is now "tied down" [and so now needs to prove to himself again that he is desirable], or possibly he has married for reasons that were more about proving that he could win a "trophy" and he is now returning to old habits.

So what can you do? Firstly, romance the socks off him!! Prove to him that being married to you is simply the very best tonic, that he is immensly desirable (you rather suggest that he is!!) and that now you are married you trust him absolutely!! You could even take the initiative and point out to him the pretty girls - make a game of it, and then remind him that there are lots of things that you can do when you get home that may be more fun than looking!! Short of ideas - then take a look around the Coffee Shop (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/coffeeshop/) for some ideas on Romance.

Secondly I would look seriously at doing a Relationship Inventory (Prepare/Enrich (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/articles/couplequiz1/) or Foccus (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/services/foccus/)) as a basis for understanding each others motives and drives better.

Above all - have fun - adjusting to marriage (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/marriageclinic/diffadjust/) can be a tough road, but the journey can be a lifetime of advanture together!!

Dave

[Dreamer]

I have been with my husband for 4 years and he does the same thing, leave me sitting at bars alone, while he strolls. We go to parties at our friends house, and he pays all his attention to everyone else, especially women that are there. I have no idea how to deal with this. I have put my own thread in so I hope I can get some advice. Unfortunatly, I have done all the things the advisor said. I have romance the socks off of him, as well as given him all his sexual dreams come true, all the things he has never done and more I have created or done for him-except a three some. So I too am at a loss, the problem know is that he says he is not sure that he loves me anymore, or wants to be in this marriage, but he love having sex with me. Yeah, my head is very messed up, not to mention my heart.

Good Luck
Dreamer