Can i have some advice please

[rumer136]

Hi, I am looking for some advice, I have been with my husband for 6 years now, married for 5. I have two children from my first marriage, and my husband and I have a child together aged 2, our first child died at birth 5.5 years ago. My husband has Bipolar Disorder, a severe mood disorder which has rendered him being hospitilized on several occassions with psychotic behaviour. he has been on medication now for almost three years and although his condition has improved, our relationship has deteriorated. He suffers from cyclical episodes, where he can be very verbally abusive, especially to me and my 9 year old daughter, who is displaying more and more behavioural problems as the days go by, our sexual relationship is now severely dysfunctional, as soon as the scenario starts again when he is agitated i close off and cannot be intimate with him, I feel as if I have shut down, i don't want to walk away as I am the only person he has to depend on, his family are not close and he has no relationship with any of them now. I would really appreciate some advice. i will be most grateful as I am just running round in circles at the moment. When well he is the opposite of what i have described. thanks. :(

[Kate]

Dear Julie

I wonder if you are aware of the support groups available for carers and spouses of those suffering from this disorder.
http://www.gtonline.net/community/mindinfo/bipolar.htm has a list of local Bipolar Disorder support groups - there may well be one listed there that is near you. The national umbrella organisation's details can be found here:
http://www.doh.gov.uk/mentalhealthcontact/orgs3.htm#mand
Unfortunately the web site for the Manic Depression fellowship does not seem to be working, but this web site address gives you the address and phone number etc.

I think they are the best people to go to for help, as they will really understand what you are going through and what strategies will help you cope.

With best wishes

Kate

[rumer136]

Thanks Kate, I have tried a few of the sites listed but will persevere, thanks anyway.

[Unregistered]

please for sake and your child's consider getting him a different doctor...................it appears his meds are not doing what they are suppose to do...................... you and he needs to realize that this is a chemical imbalance.............and the extremes of the manic and depressive episodes will always be until he gets the proper dosages.....................

I understand as I have a severe bi-polar child in my home...........
antidepressants can cause severe manic episodes........there are really good and safe meds...............I am not a doctor I suggest you shop for a doctor............and research all the meds........
maybe something with litium........is enough.......depakote, tenex, and a few others are excellent, but honestly research the doc, the meds, and realize that it could take as long as 6 months to find the correct dosages and/or combos to stabilize his swings........ he is lucky you have stayed it's says much about your strenght and character.....................it's a hard disorder to live with and around.......................ADDICTIONS are very common
I wish you luck...............research, ask questions.........unforunately you have to be mom to him as well as your child, until he is stable.

Best of luck
deb